Self Care | First Spa Massage!

I wanted to do more self care for myself this year and this is something I had planned since last year-ish and just didn’t go through with. But monthly I wanted to do something big for myself. Be it a massage or a facial or something relaxing and just for me. I do get adjusted weekly and I try to eat better when I can. I watch Tums all day so I’ve tried to for us to do active things like dance or play kick ball in the room. It’s a way for us to stay active while still being indoors and a chance for me to teach her how to do things. It’s crazy the things you have to teach a child but super interesting, especially since WE can’t remember what that was like.

So this month I decided to get a massage at a spa I’ve been wanting to go to. I’ve never 1) been to a spa and 2) ever got a legit massage where you’re on a table and everything. Despite working at high end Disney resorts. Man, that sounds sad lol.

I went and checked in and the ladies showed me where to go and what to do — so there’s a dressing room with vanity mirrors, bathrooms, lockers and whatever a steam shower was. I saw a few people using it, but I didn’t really understand the concept.

They provide these super comfy heavy robes (that I literally could just fall asleep in) and slippers (I opted to just keep my shoes). I was then told to go to the waiting room which had the most tranquil vibe. I swear, the whole back area was like being in a sound bath or something. I loved it.

3 Zen Things I Added To My Room

I’m not sure if my room now is bigger or smaller than my previous — I’m gonna go with smaller simply because there isn’t room in here for a play pen or a jumper like there was in the last. Yet the last room had an open closet concept so there was that whereas this new room has the closet on the other side of the bathroom. Which imo is kind of awkward. And a bitch to vacuum cause then I gotta carry it OVER the hardwood floor and it’s just a big thing. But the closet is freakin huge.

I’ve always wanted to zen out my room and over the years I’ve tried. But nothing really clicked with me or the ideas I had didn’t turn out exactly as I had imagined them and I got discouraged. But this time I was SUPER determined, especially considering Tums now has her own room/space so she doesn’t need to crowd up mine! She still co-sleeps cause at this point there just is no turning back from that.

I spotted this floor light at Target and fell in love with it; I love how it has shelving underneath. I just wish it had more shelving. But I knew I wanted a floor lamp after the bedroom light in the last apartment blew out and we were without a bedroom light for months other than fairy lights. Plus I haven’t had a floor light since the movers lost mine on the way to Texas from Florida back in 2017. This floor light is what inspired me to think of other elements that would create a more zen feel in my bedroom.

I also knew I wanted to get a smaller salt lamp. I have others from my mom that are a bit bigger. This one just has a color changing bulb inside which is why it looks blue. You can’t set it to one color or turn off the color changing aspect which kinda blows. But it fits perfect on that shelf.

I spotted this new line of “luxury” products in the bedding section at Target. They had candles, these, throws, sleeping masks a whole line of cozy stuff! I opted for the diffusers (even though I literally don’t get how they work) and 2 room sprays. I kind of wish I had gotten Tranquility in a room spray. I’m trying to stay away from getting more candles atm. As luxury as this line looks, it wasn’t expensive. The sprays were $10 which is still cheaper than Bath & Body Works and I think the diffusers were the same price. As well as the candles.

I ended up moving the diffusers to the bathroom where they seem to fit more for, just wish the scent throw was stronger. And in its place I put a wax melt warmer. I have yet to snap a pic of the new set up.

I haven’t done much with the second shelf just yet. It has my bowl of earrings but that’s about all. I had some décor to put on the TV whenever I get it back from my husband — if I do. His big screen somehow broke in the move. Idk man. I really don’t. So now he’s using my TV in the living room. Which I said was fine for now since me and Tums don’t spend all day in the room like we use to.

I tried getting the night stand that matched my headboard but they were sold out. So either I wait for it to come back in stock or I find a different one. The only problem is how am I going to match it based on a picture online? I mean, granted THIS ONE literally doesn’t match ANYTHING in this room but you know. I’m being picky.

I finally put up the wireless charger I’ve had since I got home from giving birth. Yeah I know. And I freakin love it! You can’t tell but it’s rose gold on the sides. I got it on Amazon here if you’re interested. I also got an Alexa Echo Show which I didn’t know was a thing and it was on sale when I spotted it! So yay, even better! I wanted the Echo Dot that had the screen on it but I guess that was like an older version of this one. And this one was cheaper. It’s exactly what I wanted; Alexa with a screen to show me the time and weather. The husband uses it as an alarm clock and you know, it has all the usual Alexa features.

My dad actually gave me the Echo Dot I have that currently lives in the living room/kitchen. And we’ve been obsessed with it! We use it for almost everything. I use it for music alllllll the time and I just discovered you can install “skills”. So I have a bunch of Tagalog ones on mine!

I’m trying to figure out how I want to set up the dresser. It has a few things on it but I feel like they don’t really go. So I’m gonna redo it. Maybe when I get the TV back and I get a better idea of how much space I have.

So far I’m really happy with how my room is coming together. I just have to keep working at it and not get discouraged if I can’t figure anything out. I’m really trying to avoid falling into my usual discouraged hole!

Do you have any objects in your room that gives you a sense of Zen?

Sage & Chill: 5 Reasons You Should Sage Cleanse

Sage & Chill: 5 Reasons You Should Sage Cleanse
It took me forever to catch this but I’m so glad I did.

My cousin has been bugging me to Sage Cleanse for maybe a year or two now. Ever since he started doing it. In March my BFF sent me Sage along with my Disney snack “because we both need good vibes after 2019,” I finally gave it a try about a month (or less) ago. And I’ve been obsessed since. Honestly, the first time I did a whole apartment Sage Cleanse I got really sleepy and hungry. My cousin was like “yeah girl, that’s all those bad vibes getting the hell out.”

Since then I picked up this one with Lavender from Etsy, and honestly, I’m almost done. It’s been so fun watching the fire ignite even more when you blow on it because of the dried Lavender. Wouldn’t recommend if you have a problem seeing holes; I don’t remember what it was called. I’ve noticed that when I do Sage I don’t get these mini anxiety attacks I usually get in my nightly bath. I’m usually more relaxed then I’ve been in a very long while. And I sleep better. I also like the smell of Sage… it’s kind of comforting.

I don’t know why I took so long to try Sage Cleansing, but I really wish I had started sooner.

5 Reasons Why You Should Sage Cleanse;

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Monday Mindful Manifestation

This morning I thought of something I wanted to manifest and wanted to share it on my blog; maybe every week I’ll make it a point to think of what I want to manifest for that week or even just that day.

I admit that I absolutely tend to care what people say or think about me. Sometimes a little too much. There was a time I legitimately didn’t care cause I was either so self confident in myself or too full of myself to even believe them; I often miss those days and wonder where they went — but tbh they were the last days before anxiety crept into my life and changed everything.

It’s been over 10 years since then and my name has been dragged through the mud so much since. Between ex boyfriends and ex husbands who tell reverse tales of what really happened, to ex and current in laws who shame me for speaking about mental health and sharing my stories (which to them makes me “full of shit” and a bad mom).

I know you can’t please everyone and the ones who know you best will always know who you truly are despite what anyone says about you; but it does bother me. And it does take a lot of my thought process and healing space.

So this week, I’m manifesting the quote above; people will always have something to say about you, but what they say and what they think is none of your business in the first place.

What I think about myself is my business.

What are you hoping to manifest this week?

3 Ways I keep Calm

3 Ways I keep Calm

I previously wrote about the 5 Daily Things I Do As Self Care; self care is SUCH a big deal to me and it’s something I’m constantly working on. It’s something I try to make sure I make time for in my every day life.

Keeping calm isn’t something I’m very good at. I stress out super easy. The more I stress out the worst my anxiety gets and it’s a never ending cycle. So there are certain things I keep around to help me/remind me to chill out.

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Mental Health: Medication Story

Bubba wanted me to write a very detailed and extensive blog post on OUR BLOG about my journey with anxiety and so parts ONE and TWO can be found there. I’ve debated on copying + pasting them here as well but I’m not sure…

With that said I’m jumping a bit ahead to the medication part of my story.

When I were first diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety in 2005 I refused medication; I figured if my brain had the ability to rewire itself, it had the ability to rewire itself back. I never assumed it would be easy, especially considering how intense my anxiety and anxiety attacks were back then. I went to group therapy every week and I went to one on one therapy once or twice a month until 2010.

Here’s the thing about therapy. It won’t work if you’re not ready. And if you’re not ready, that is totally fine. There’s no reason to rush a process that you’re not ready to dive in to. Just because you doesn’t mean you’ll beat this any faster than you plan to.

Working around and through your anxiety is a journey only YOU can take. Only YOU know your limits. And you should NEVER let SOMEONE ELSE direct that journey FOR YOU. Never feel like you’re disappointing someone by not getting over this at the speed they want you to get over it. YOU are NOT the disappointment, THEY are for pushing you beyond your comfort level.

Just had to throw that out there.

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Mental Health: & Music


When I wrote yesterday’s entry I wasn’t aware that it was Mental Health Awareness Week. I feel like MHAW/MHAM come and go so often that it’s hard to keep track of these things. Not to mention in my world, Mental Health Awareness is pretty much an every day thing.

I feel like my life has all kinds of divides and chapters when I look back on it; from the time I was 13 until my anxiety full force kicked in at 20 I struggled HEAVILY with depression and suicide. I was constantly listening to music. CONSTANTLY. There was rarely ever a time I wasn’t playing music. Everything from DDR songs to 80’s Light Rock to Hip Hop to R&B to Slow Jams to Techno to Alternative.

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