Brain Dump | 911, I don’t want to die

A few days ago I woke up with body aches… I thought maybe I was just getting sick. As the day progressed, I kept feeling worse and worse. I could barely eat anything and by the end of the night I threw up. By the time I got Tums to bed, I was pretty dizzy and feeling pretty weird. Thinking I was still just getting sick, I went to bed.

I woke up throwing up… a lot. About 7 times. At that point I realized something wasn’t right and I couldn’t text correctly. I called 911 because I legit felt like I was dying. I was having a hard time breathing, I was sweating like crazy, I felt like I was losing consciousness. I had both the girls with me and my husband was at work. I texted my MIL to come quickly, I think I’m dying. No questions asked, she said she was on her way.

I felt like I was on the phone with 911 for hours but my call log says 24 minutes.

I kept screaming saying “I don’t want to die” and I kept falling over losing consciousness. I then realized what if Tums was dying too? And I went into a whole different type of panic. By the time the medics got here, I wasn’t able to move or walk, I was dizzy. I told Tums she had to open the door and I followed her to the front door where she unlocked and opened it for the medics; she’s 4.

They came in and helped Winnie since she was crying and I got back on the bed. They wrapped me in a blanket and turned on the fan saying my room was really stuffy, but I was freezing. At this point my breathing was a little better, I was able to open my eyes but my vision was blurry and I realized… I couldn’t remember things. I knew my kids were in the room. I knew my MIL was too. But certain questions they asked me, I didn’t know the answers to.

They hooked me up to an IV and got some fluid in me. My MIL got me dressed and they escorted me to the ambulance. There they asked me general questions.. I didn’t know what year it was, what year I was born in, how old I was or who the president was. It was such a weird out of body experience.

I got to the hospital where they put me in a room and hooked me up to more stuff, asked more questions and let me rest a bit while they tried to figure things out. My husband got there shortly after. I told him I was scared, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Why can’t I remember things. He went to get some of my stuff and the doctors came in to take blood, samples and run some tests.

The ER staff where I was was amazing. They made me feel comfortable and taken care of.

I finally was able to get an actual room and the staff there were equally as amazing. I love the staff at that hospital. It’s the same hospital I gave birth to Tums in and I had an amazing experience then also.

When I got to my own actual room, besides morning blood tests (which sucked) the only other tests they did were an MRI and a CT scan with that stupid liquid. It felt SO weird. The night nurse who took me though was really sweet and helpful.

The first day I was there they said they saw a high white blood cell count which meant an infection but they didn’t know exactly what kind. So they went with UTI, even though I didn’t have any UTI symptoms. By the last day the doctor came in and told me they found E. Coli in my blood test. I was responding to the antibiotics they were giving me fine so they sent me home with a similar one to take.

I’m 2 days post hospitalization and I’m still on and off dizzy, I have headaches and I feel out of it. The fact it was an E. Coli poisoning is such a scary thought. I couldn’t imagine if this happened to one of my kids. Hopefully I get back to feeling 100% soon. For now, I’m going to lay back down.

4 Ways I’m Coping with COVID

4 Ways I’m Coping with COVID

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ve seen the spew of tweets of how I’m feeling. Which seems to change daily, hourly. I have no freakin idea anymore. But I’m convinced you can’t live in TX without catching COVID somehow. Esp since they lifted the stupid mask mandate.

B tested positive for COVID on Mother’s Day, and out of the both of us, he has the worst symptoms. He thinks he got it from a coworker who had it before he started showing symptoms. I however have been popping Vit C, Tylenol and eating greens like my dang life depends on it. I just haven’t been drinking water. So Mother’s Day kind of didn’t exist for me this year. I did try to cheer myself up and go on a Bath & Body Works shopping spree. I have super minor symptoms and I’m extremely thankful for that. But the micro symptoms I do have are annoying. And like I said — it tends to change day to day. Thankfully the body aches and the god awful dizziness is gone. That shit felt like my soul was trying to leave my body. Luckily I didn’t lose my sense of taste or smell.

And yes I’m mad I somehow caught COVID, but when you live with others there’s only so much you’re in control of. I’m trying to learn that and let it go, but man, it’s annoying.

Here’s 4 Ways I’m Coping;

| I started binge watching a new show
I’ve always wanted to watch Shidtt’s Creek. 3 episodes in and I’m already hooked. David MAKES that show. Foreal. The dad was also one of my favorite characters in my favorite movie Serendipity. Crocodile shoes? I miss having someone throw movie quotes at/with me.

| Journaling
As in, writing. With a pen. Well kind of a pen. Digital planners/journals have been my thing in 2021. I wish my dang iPad would start charging but the iPad Air 4 clearly freakin hates me. So right now I’m using Noteshelf which I don’t hate. It’s just finding a drawing app on Android that is as easy to use as Procreate that’s a bit of a challenge.

| Mobile Games
Pre COVID I was going on massive depression shopping sprees. Past me did manage to grab some bath salts thank goodness. But also a few new Switch games. Like Cooking Mama, Story of Seasons and a bunch of demos. I’ve also been playing a ton of Freecell and Solitaire on my tablet and my phone. I needed a puzzle game before my brain felt like it was going to deflate on me. So I went back to my roots and tbh I can spend all freakin day playing these two. I’m not sure why. My dad taught me how to play Freecell and I would watch my mom play Solitaire growing up (with actual physical cards btw).

| Not resting as much as I should
I have a huge problem with resting. I’m Filipino. WHAT is rest? How can I rest when the laundry needs to be done? The kid needs someone to play with? The dishes need to be done? THIS GODDAMN FLOOR NEEDS TO BE MOPPED HOURLY. Know what I mean? I don’t like laying around doing nothing. I reminds me of my dad who would just lay down waiting to die over every little thing and I don’t know. I just don’t like the idea of it. So I push myself to get normal things done. Except yesterday. I freakin slept in until 5pm somehow. I don’t know. And I can’t decide if it helped or hurt me.

I’m trying to be better at it, seriously. But I can only handle so much of laying around. Unless I’m playing a game or doing something. I’m truly trying to manifest getting over this thing as quick as I can. The quicker I do, the quicker I can get the vaccine and never have to go through this again. Cause even the minor symptoms suck. 7 more days until I can get tested.

Having friends that have been checking on me daily have been helpful and lifting my spirits. Shout out to those who have been messaging, calling, texting, ya’ll make this a little easier to deal with.

Here’s to hoping this is almost over.