What day is it? Cause I swear all week I’ve been behind 2 days at a time. How that’s possible? I have no freakin idea but as the parent of a toddler? Yeah, it definitely happens.
I was struggling with my mental health and with expressing myself. I just love how the closer we get to Christmas the more anxiety, dread and just I really don’t wanna be here/do this right now feeling comes back. I had the weirdest dream last night that my husband had some “small work party” yet it was like people were all over our 3 story mansion. I couldn’t even sneak away before someone else notices. I was going somewhere with this but I literally just dozed off writing that last sentence.
Hai guys, it’s now 1pm and I’m awake. I don’t remember writing any of that shit last night. But here we are lol.
I can’t believe Christmas is in a few days. I always feel like Christmas comes too fast. I still want to bask in the peppermint everything and the lights!
I tried to do OOTD photos for hazearella + having photos to post reviews about a clothing haul I did. That’s a Peppermint Marshmallow shake from Shake Shack. It was ok. This hoodie is from Shein and it’s cozy af. I love it. I just wish it had pockets. T is wearing a bunny raincoat I got her last Spring for Easter, it’s still super big on her. Thank goodness.
I also hate how out of order my posts are going to be for the next month; I still have one or two 2018 posts I want to write but I’ve already started writing 2019 posts. Whoops.
For one of the last trips to Dallas in 2019 I wanted to try a French bakery that I’ve had my eye on pretty much all year — Bisous Bisous Pâtisserie which is located in Uptown Dallas. I won’t be reviewing the bakery in this post, I’m saving that for a different post cause it deserves its own post. Trust me.
I’ve wanted to change the content for hazearella (my lifestyle/makeup/candle blog) for a few years now but never had the drive to make the content or take the pictures I wanted. So I decided on this day, I was going to.
I wanted to start 2019 with being the blogger I always wanted to be; to my surprise when I pitched this idea to Bubba his only response was: “F I N A L L Y.” Gotta love a man who supports your passions!
I’m still working on not being camera shy and I’m still working on how to pose for photos. I’m so use to being behind the camera and when I’m not, I’m usually turned around or taking a selfie.
I hope in 2019 I’m able to let go of these small silly insecurities. That I’m able to express myself more and be okay with the fact that no matter how hard I try sometimes my makeup isn’t going to always be perfect. Or that not every photo will be perfection. But I hope to post it all anyway. I hope to have fun with it. I hope to fall in love with lifestyle blogging the way I always dreamed and wanted.
I also hope to learn how to dress myself like a human being as well! I told myself no hoodies in 2019 (I mean of course there’s certain exceptions but for the most part if we’re going OUT OUT, no hoodies). I use to put effort into dressing nice and doing my hair and putting on makeup; I want to get back into that habit again.
Because it made me feel good. It made me feel awake and alive. It made me feel productive. And with a baby on the way — I’m sure you can assume how drained and blah I feel on a daily basis. Pulling yourself out of that is hard; but I don’t want to end up like those mama’s who can’t find time to take care of themselves and end up blaming the baby.
Baby Lo is here to enhance my life. Not take over it. Not change it. Not take things away from me. But add on that extra encouragement. The extra smile and laugh while I figure out this new chapter in my life that’s coming up quick!
This photo pretty much sums me up nicely! But that Wizard of Oz calendar thing is definitely one of my favorite gifts from Bubba. Sometimes I forget to change it, but I think I’ll keep it on April 12th for awhile.
But thanks calendar thing, I did have a great and powerful day!