Monday Mindful Manifestation

Monday Mindful Manifestation

It’s definitely been a while since I’ve done one of these; a long while actually.

So much has been happening lately, and I’ve been really overwhelmed with it all. I need a self vacation, wish that was a thing I could actually go do.

Waving Through a Window from Dear Evaen Hansen has been on heavy repeat for me in the last month. I have yet to watch the movie — I’m not a big fan of watching movies though.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting since my incident. Not so much shadow work, just trying to figure things out. Trying to make sense of it all even though I’m sure this is one of those life things with no answers.

This week I want to treat myself with more patience and grace. Speak to myself kinder. And ignore other peoples opinions; I need to do what’s best for me and my healing process.

I miss blogging and creating; I hope giving myself more time to heal will bring me back to the things I miss doing.

How have you been? What is something you’re hoping to achieve this week?

Hello April;

Oh, hey blog.

Long time no write.

It’s been crazy over here.

Aria was born 3 weeks early. I had a feeling she would come early… just not that early and surely now how she decided to leave the womb either. It was a smooth delivery, for what it was. Thankfully. Trying to find balance with a newborn and a toddler who is well into her terrible… I don’t even know anymore… is definitely a challenge.

This month I’m going to still try to take it easy and not expect too much of myself — it is my birth month though and Easter! Thankfully this year they’re not on the same day.

I do want to ease into creating again this month and playing some of my gaming backlog.

Here are a few things I hope to cross off my list for April;

→ Start blogging again

I’m waiting for my need to create to come back. I feel it inching closer and closer but it’s not 100% here just yet. But when it does come… I def want to be ready! I truly miss blogging and I’m debating on revamping my old blog (that’s on blogger) or just making a new one. There’s something about a fresh new blog/domain that makes me feel like I can turn it into whatever I want.

→ Set up my Twitch/YouTube stream

I’ve been on the hunt for a ton of cozy gamer games and I love that this is now a niche in the gaming community! I mean, I guess we were always here but I’m so glad there’s more other cozy gamers to find on social media and who make content! Makes me feel way less alone. That said, I really want to get back into streaming games, especially since I’m working on my new setup. Slightly regret that everything isn’t white but I’ll make it work somehow.

→ Set up/organize desk

This goes off that last one kind of. I miss taking product shots and being really happy with them. It’s been such a long while since I’ve actually liked a photo I took. I need to find a better way to display my controllers and where. This new desk I have is an L shaped desk so there’s a lot of space… but making it look put together is another thing. Especially when you have a toddler who wants to take over everything.

→ Redo my product shot corner

I have always had a small product shot corner on my bedroom dresser that is now crowded with drinks I need to throw away, meds from pregnancy and baby stuff. So, I need to do something about that. Also because it’s against the window, I think the lighting has not been the best. In the past it’s always been against the wall to the side of the window. Sigh.

→ Read 1-2 books

I’ve been slacking — once again — on my reading challenge. Last year was a total fail which is fine; it was a really hard and weird year for me, for sure. I don’t expect myself to had finished 25 books last year, at all. I’m hoping to read 1 or 2 books this month. I cut my reading challenge to 12 books for this year and I’m already 4 months behind lol.

I started reading Gallant by VE Schwab, The Archived by Victoria Schwab and Keeper of Enchanted Rooms by Charlie Holmberg. The first 2 being audiobooks and I still haven’t finished them lol. Oh and I also started listening to Arsenic and Adobo by Mia Manasala cause you know, Filipino reppin over here (plus Asian American month is coming).

→ Play 1 new game

My gaming backlog is just as bad my TBR. All over Xbox Game Pass, the Switch, Steam… hell even my tablet cause I just started playing an MMO mobile game I’ve been wanting to play. I need to figure out how to connect a controller to it so I can film gaming content. But this month I want to try one new game from my backlog. And actually play it. I’ve been stuck doing dailies on Disney Dreamlight and Animal Crossing lately. Which I mean.. I don’t even play the games foreal, I literally just do daily shit on them. And it’s not as satisfying as doing dailies on FFXIV, that’s for sure.

Spring is coming, but not fast enough. It’s an nice 90 degree’s here in Texas and I’m a little salty I’m not spending it outside. I can’t wait for Summer to get here! I’m so over these cold waves we’ve been having.

… and the baby is crying. At least I finally finished this post lol.

What is something you hope to start or accomplish in April?

Hello December + Blogmas!

And just like that, it’s already December.

Happy Blogmas to those of you who plan on doing it this year. I’m still undecided if I am or not. I’m just really hoping this post goes up on the first tbh lol. Not sure if I’ll have the time to invest in keeping up with Blogmas since it somehow slipped my mind that December was even coming up; pregnancy brain. It’s real and it sucks.

I don’t want to over goal myself (there’s a word for this, I just can’t think of it at the moment) this month. Especially since I’m late on putting up my Christmas tree and the rest of the apartment decor. I don’t know how time just moved so fast past me.

| Put up the Christmas Tree

I usually have this up by October. This year that didn’t happen. October was a pretty emotionally draining month for me and a bit of November as well. Christmas was the last thing on my mind honestly. Despite knowing it would cheer me up a bit… I still didn’t feel too invested in it. Now it’s December and I feel like I’m late to my own important date. I’m hoping to get the tree up at least before the weekend is over! Unfortunately it’s not as well thought out or going to be as decorated as the previous tree’s we’ve had but this year itself has just been… weird.

| Christmasfy the apartment

Same thing along the lines with the tree thing; I need to update the fairy lights in my room as well as put down the fairy lights and garland by the TV (and someday upgrade that TV cause having a non smart TV is not the move).

| Bake something

I’ve had my kitchen aid for a year now and I’ve only baked one thing. Like?? Not cool. Plus I’ve always wanted to get in the holiday spirit by baking.

| Watch Christmas movies

I use to make it a point to watch a certain amount of Christmas movies… and I have a few that I watch every year. I think I skipped this tradition last year so I wanna make up for it this year.

| Go to 1 Christmas event

I hate the cold. And it doesn’t help that it’s started snowing here in TX in the winter. I’ve always wanted to do Enchantment or the Gaylord stuff but always decided against it since it’s just too cold for my liking.

Tums is old enough to remember/retain things now so maybe I should suck it up and go to something this year.

| Tidy for the New Year

I say this every December. And I always have high hopes I’ll really do it this time. Truthfully I get overwhelmed with how much stuff I do have.

I really want to minimize the stuff I do have… or have homes for them instead of just piling stuff up on a bookshelf or something…

Plus after all the fuckery of 2022, I want to go into 2023 at least with a tidy home.

| Read 3 books

My TBR has been suffering this year with all things considered… I’m def not going to hit my goal of 25 books read but I at least want to get through some of these books. I’ll try to do better next year… maybe lower my goal.

I’m sure I’m missing something important but I’ll get mad at myself when I remember lol.

What are your goals for December?

Hello November

I gave up on these posts awhile ago because I was getting discouraged about not even feeling like setting goals. But if I want to get back to my old self, I’m going to have to make a change myself. I feel like I spent most of 2022 just worried and upset. I’m not sure how much of the year I can salvage and at least get a few goals checked off. But doesn’t hurt to try!

| Set up the Christmas tree

This should had already been done but it’s not. I did get a tree, I just haven’t cleared space to put it up yet. I plan to before Thanksgiving at least… hopefully it’ll help my mental health.

| Catch up on October Reading Challenge TBR

I’m so sad I spent most of Oct depressed and didn’t even start on any of my October Reading Challenge books. This is my favorite tradition for myself and I get so bummed when I skip a year.

| Bake something festive

Planning on putting my KitchenAid to use this season. Not sure what I’m going to bake just yet… but I really want to bake something this year.

| Disney+ movie night

Disenchanted comes out this month and I still need to watch the live action Aladdin as well as Mulan. I know, I’m super behind.

| Enjoy family days

Family days are a lot more fun now that Tums is a full on child. I mean it’s not fun when she wants half the store but it is fun to have days out with her. We have some family days I’m looking forward to this month that I’m pretty excited about. And some Christmas stuff we have planned for Tums (and let’s be real, me as well).

| Catch up on gaining needed weight

Because I spent most of this pregnancy depressed, I’m wayyyy behind on the weight gain part of it all. I barely ate in October and as my tummy grows and stretches, it’s starting to become incredibly uncomfortable. I’m trying to do what I can to spend the rest of this pregnancy calm and not stressed out so that the baby won’t be stressed out and the labor will *hopefully* be as easy as it was with Tums. Though I guess that would be asking for a lot at this point.

I really need to find a way to stop feeling horrible about myself and my situation. It’s obviously not the best and it’s not ideal and I sure as hell hate spending the holidays pregnant but it is what it is, the most I can do is learn from it and be more aware of other people and their intentions. No matter who they are or how long I’ve known them.

| Get a prenatal massage

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m older this time around but my back has been killing me more than usual… but mostly in the mid back and not the lower back that usually bothers me. I’m sure getting a nice prenatal massage would be really relaxing and I love the spa I would go to to get massages. They have this aromatherapy thing going on as well and it was always so relaxing. I really want to get back into doing monthly massages like I use to.

I’m hoping November will be a better month for me than October was.

What are some of your November goals?

Hello September

It’s iced coffee, cold brew, leggings all day, oversized sweaters and beanie weather.

If you know… you didn’t live in TX or FL.

Is that going to stop me? Hewl nah it’s not. I wait all year for this time of the year!

I’ve been SUPER inconsistent with my blogging and managing my business this year. I’m trying to give myself some grace considering all the other things that happened this year… and it’s a lot. I wish I could write about it cause I could really use some shadow work on some of this shit. But that’s going to have to go somewhere a little more private. I feel like I went from finding a solid potential balance late last year to completely destroying that myself this year. I am thankful however — very thankful — that my soon to be ex husband is understanding in the fact that I really want my time to myself. I never have to explain why I do, he doesn’t question it, he just knows I need it from time to time. So I’m endlessly thankful that he’s trying to make this divorce work in my favor. Possibly more in mine than in his. He’s not a bad person, deep down, we just weren’t right for each other. And that too is okay. Tums is loved by so many people and she has more than one place to call home. That’s all that matters.

We’re in the last quarter of 2022. That’s insane to think about. But it also makes me think what do I want to accomplish in these last few months of 2022.

I don’t really know lolol. I mean I have some goals but like I don’t have some solid plan. I figure I winged this year, I’ll just wing the rest of it. Sometimes the best things happen when you don’t plan them.

Continue reading “Hello September”

Hello April~

Welcome to my birthday month and Aries season!

Aries season doesn’t seem to be the best season for my fellow Aries this year. I’ll try again in the Fall when everything dies I mean, preps for rebirth. Yeah, that’s what I meant.

Both my BFF and I have gotten into streaming this passed week and we’re trying to find ways to set up our Twitch channels. If you’re into Call of Duty and GTA go give him a follow even though he only streams SUPER late at night. I moderate it if I’m up. If you’re into cozy gaming and just chillen out give me a follow. I don’t have a set schedule just yet. So far I just stream FFXIV as I get use to it and the new changes they’ve made to the hot bars. So if you wanna watch me run around like an idiot for a bit, feel free to!

The depression from March prevented me from planning anything for my birthday this year so… that sucks. Maybe I should just stick to planning my birthday in Dec/Jan when I’m not hit with trauma and depression. I’m really hoping next year I’ll be in a much better head space when Tums birthday comes up. I’m hoping distance and being surrounded by my actual support system with help me heal.

| Figure out what to do with moving

The whole rent situation for April took a turn so having to figure out how to get the other half of rent was pretty stressful. I’m thankful for the friends I have who are always willing to help me.

| Set up the streaming

I pulled my ACNH Switch back out again and I need to reinstall my capture card. So far I’ve only been streaming FFXIV but I really want to stream Switch and PC games too.

| Get back to a healthy lifestyle [ better eating choices, meditation, yoga, working out ]

I really want to achieve this this year. It’s so hard to start though. But once you do, and you get a routine going, it’s effortless. It’s just getting there. I mostly want to stop pulling my lower back and work on my mental health starting with fitness.

| Find something fun or chill to do for my birthday day

I really have no plans for my birthday this year. The whole depression of March took over my mind space. I did try to book a trip to Disney but it’s all booked up since my birthday falls on Easter week (at least it’s not ON Easter this year) and honestly it was too expensive to even fly anywhere from TX. A friend of mine from home is coming out here though so I may hang out with them. I miss my friends and I wish I could had at least just flown out to NorCal.

| Schedule a trip to Disney World before Flower & Garden ends

This kinda falls in the same as the last — Flower & Garden ends in July so I’m really hoping to make it there before then! F&G is one of my favorite events at Disney World, period!

| Revamp this blog

I want to do some blog post updates, SEO updates, change the subjects/topics and sort of just find a stable niche for this blog. I feel like I’m all over the place sometimes.

| Revamp + add new products to the shop

I def need a new logo and banner design and I need to design more clothing. I also need to start doing monthly themes or something… just something new to add to the whole feed if anything. My shop can’t grow if I don’t give it something to grow into.

| Don’t be afraid to ask friends for help when the hard days come

I hate when people hear or see me cry. It’s the trauma from exes tbh. I tend to forget that my friends don’t think I’m weak for crying and they wouldn’t gaslight me or make me feel bad for crying on the phone especially if it’s about something that really bothers me. I know my friends love me but sometimes it’s still hard to turn to someone when the days feel dark and heavy. I’m trying to be better about that!

I decided against doing a March recap; there wasn’t much of anything other than depression spells in March. So there’s no reason to go and rehash on that. I’m really hoping April will be much kinder.

What are some of your goals for this month?

Hello March

I can’t believe how fast 2022 is moving. Then again I’ve been traveling (and it feels so good to be able to again) so that might also be why it feels like it’s going super fast for me.

Feb was full of trying places I had on my foodie wish list for way too long. Road trips with my BFF’s and being spoiled by my BFF’s and my cousin (for once lol). I was reminded of how loved I am back home and I wonder why I even left… I mean I don’t wonder but I do wonder why I stayed away for so long.

Never let a relationship get in the way of your life and who you are.

I have no idea how March would be able to top Feb, honestly. But here are a few things I hope to achieve;

| Take Tums to Disneyland for her birthday
As much as I would love to go to Disney World, there really isn’t much there for toddlers like there is at Disneyland. She hasn’t been to Disneyland yet and she’s been to WDW twice already lol. I can’t believe I’ll have a 3 year old soon. She’s already like a whole ass human being. I just assume the smarter she gets, the more she will talk back. She’s already started lol.

| Hit Vegas with my cousin
This is the year of doing things I miss and getting back to my roots. It’s been a decade since I’ve been back to Vegas and I miss it so much. I’m hoping to squeeze in a weekend trip to Vegas this month with my cousin or my BFF Dru; even if he’s next level on some shit lol.

| Read 2 books
I just picked up 2 new audiobooks while I was on my trip; they’re both autobiographies. One is by Leslie Odom Jr and his time doing Aaron Burr in Hamilton. I have no excuse to be so far behind on my TBR for this year but here I am. So hopefully I can at least read 2 books this month.

| Take 30 mins every day to do Yoga or some kind of ab work out
I need to be better at my health. And I really need to start being better. It’s hard to set aside time to just do certain things. Obviously working out and reading seems to be it for me this year. But I really want to work on getting my abs back and I really want to get back into eating right again. Even just setting aside 30 mins every day can make a difference.

| Start a skincare routine
My BFF and cousin are begging me to do this. It makes me feel old lol. I admit though, my skin could use some help. So at the advice of my cousin, I picked up a few things that were a lot more than I expected. Shit better do something.

| Work on shop things
My shop needs a huge refresh. I really want to put up more apparel and new sticker designs. I also want to be more active on social media and marketing. I always say I’ll work on some stuff while I’m in Cali but I get so caught up with hanging out with my friends that it doesn’t happen lol. I’m not sure when I’m jetting off next this month so I might as well work on my shop until I figure that out!

| Jump start on Spring cleaning
Spring cleaning has always been the bane of my existence. My mom made it look so effortless. But as I’m low key kind of on the quest to live a more minimalistic life, I figure this is going to be an even bigger task. Let’s hope I start this in the Spring and finish it in the Spring as well lol.

What are some things you’re hoping to start, finish or attempt this month?

Hello February

February always reminds me of when I really started to write in this blog. I had originally called it Places & Peonies and it was suppose to be a safe place for me to blog. I needed somewhere I could be transparent and unfiltered. I had just suffered a miscarriage and everyone around me (minus my BFF Xyl) was telling me that “it’s not something to blog/post about” but blogging has always been my therapy. Since 1999. So to tell me I can’t talk about this life event that hurt me so deeply?

I created this as a secret blog. With the hopes it would help me heal. With the hopes I could fill it with pretty pictures, adventures and be a place I can look back on and remind myself of how hard the journey was, but how I survived it. That was 5 years ago. It’s crazy to see how this blog has shifted and changed since then. I still don’t know wtf my niche for it is. And sometimes I stop myself from posting because I think “is that blog post even helpful?”

And while I do love writing the *insert number here* ways to stay calm or whatever; I also love writing my brain dumps. Because sometimes I just need to write some shit out. And we relate through experiences others share. It helps us feel less alone. So I hate the times when I stop myself from writing how I feel just because I don’t think it’s what blogging is about anymore. I’m trying to be better at it.

Here are a few things I want to accomplish this month;

Continue reading “Hello February”

Hello December

Happy. Freaking. BlogMAS!

It’s finally the last month of 2021 and I’m sure I’m not the only one who is just so ready for 2022 at this point!

I had so many goals for 2021 and I’m happy that I took the steps to make those goals happen. I might not had known what I was doing half the time but half of learning how to do something is to just do it. The last half of 2021 was something else. I would have high expectations for this month since it’s the last month of the year but honestly, I’m just tired. I’m hoping that it doesn’t snow. That it doesn’t get TOO cold. There are fun holiday photos I want to take and holiday things I want to see. But if it’s too cold that’s a pass. Which sucks. Plus I don’t really have friends here who will take photos of me like that so. There’s also that.

There are a few things this month I do want to get done, that have to get done;

| Start cleaning things out and prep for packing/moving

I’m horrible at this one! I always tell myself I’ll purge before a move and I never do. Then I get irritated that I didn’t because then it’s just so much more stuff to pack that I don’t even need. I don’t like the feeling of bringing extra energy you don’t need with you so I’m goig to try really hard to do a way better job with that this move!

| Apple for the new place & put in my 30 day notice

I always forget to do the 30 day notice thing even though I’ve had ONE bad accident with it in the past. But it’s also why I’m a bit iffy about apartment management but I def need to put in my 30 days and apply for the new place. Which I low key also hate doing lol.

| Get rid of more books

I feel like this is a never ending task of mine. I’m forever going to be getting rid of books. I’ve already stopped doing OwlCrate. But with a move coming up, I don’t really want to pack all these books all over again.

| Read 16 books or 6 books or just 1… JUST READ

I’m 16 books behind on my GoodReads challenge and I doubt I’ll be able to finish it this year. Which this is fine. But I do want to at least try and hit as close to my goal as I can.

| Use or toss ALL snacks before the move

I have a problem with hoarding snacks. I need to take pics of the holiday ones I have, but I haven’t yet. I’m trying to be better at hoarding snacks this month and next month before the move. I’m not planning on taking any of this stuff with me.

| Purge clothes… realistically

I have a HUGE problem with this one. But I need to realistically get rid of clothes I don’t even remember I have. I don’t know why I hold on to clothes like that. It’s the weirdest thing to me.

| Eat better

I need to start eating better just because eating fast food as much as I do is starting to catch up to me. I really want to get my health back on track. I need to start going to the gym again too.

| Prep for 2022

This means manage my bills/autopay shit. Purge things (and people) I don’t want to bring with me into 2022 and making clear goals.

What are some things you’re hoping to accomplish this month? Are you ready for 2021 to be over?

Hello November

Welp, just like that 2021 is almost over. It’s actually cold af here in Texas today. It’s raining and 48*. Crazy. I’ll be mad if we get snow soon. Like, can you not. This month is sort of busy, but I always feel like November usually is. If I don’t brick my time right I won’t get anything done this month so I have to be very careful. But I’m sure it’ll get away from me as always lol.

November is when my seasonal depression really kicks in. And this year feels like it’s gonna be intense. I’m already curled up blogging and listening to my old AOL jams, that’s where the feels come from.

I don’t have much on my goals list for this month since I have a few things happening this month.

| Get in the Christmas spirit

I have this love/hate history with Christmas. I love getting ready for Christmas but I’m not a fan of Christmas itself too much. I did skip Halloween this year, I just wasn’t feeling it. I managed to get the little tree’s up in the office and my room before Halloween even came around, just not the bigger tree. But I really want to try and do more Christmasy things this year. Esp since T is a lot more aware of her surroundings.

| Get started on Christmas shopping

I don’t really struggle with this one but I like to stay on top of it and mail my gifts out before December. Thankfully I don’t have many people to buy gifts for, perks of being part of a smaller family. My focus is usually on my kid and my childhood friends. Sometimes my mom cause she doesn’t like much and I’m finding my brother is probably my fav to shop for cause he likes cooking so I spend loads of time at Williams Sonoma… for you know… research…. lol

| Design holiday products for the shop

I’ve been struggling with this since October. You’d think Winter/Christmas themed stuff would be super easy to come up with. But they’re really not. And a lot of my product ideas are Tagalog ones lol. Fml.

| Purge/sell books

I skipped both Owlcrate subscriptions this month and it’s the first year I’ll be missing out on the reading planner — but I really can’t justify a box every single month. Most of the time the book is one I wouldn’t be interested in. I know the whole idea is that it’s a surprise, but sometimes it would be nice to know.

That said; I’ve decided to let go of the books I literally don’t intend to pick up/read. I’m trying to minimize my stuff and this is a really good place to start.

| Do/see as much as I can at Disney

I’m excited to be able to see Disney this holiday season. I didn’t spend too much time at the parks at night during the holidays when I was there.

I’m also going to be staying at Universal, which a few of my good friends work there now — but it also is already giving me flashbacks of what was the most fun date I’ve ever had in my life with a guy who turned out to be a huge jerk. But the memory was still really good. We’d spend late nights at City Walk and running around all the resorts doing the dumbest shit.

I’m also hoping this trip will bring back my inspo cause TX ain’t the place for it. Super excited to be home for awhile ❤️.

What are some things you’re hoping to achieve this month?