Monday Mindful Manifestation

I low key didn’t realize today was Monday. I’ve had a migraine since yesterday. Gotta love PMS.

I stumbled on this while scrolling through Canva for some inspo. Beyond being a great blogging resource, their template gallery has some really cool inspo!

I have mixed feelings about this quote though; on one hand, I get it. But on the other hand, I don’t want to bend or break. I don’t want to bend to make someone else comfortable if it means making me unhappy. But there are moments where if you don’t bend, you’ll break. Even if you don’t want to do either.

Am I being too cryptic? I really wish I didn’t have to be.

But this is def something I’ve been struggling with since maybe August. Or June. If I’m being honest.

I’m tired of keeping the peace just for the sake of peace whatever that even means any more. I’m tired of having to put my dreams and goals on hold because it makes someone else uncomfortable. I have a solid belief of doing the things I want because life is too short and too short to wait for permission from someone. I’m too free spirited to stay in one place for too long or be told what I can and can’t do.

That’s not to say I would never bend, but I refuse to if it means selling myself short of the things that make me happy or feel alive.

Not just for this week, but for this year; I’m manifesting the strength to be my authentic self and doing what my soul tells me to do.

Monday Mindful Manifestation

That’s it.

That’s the whole message this week.

Did I finish wrapping and sending out xmas gifts? Nah. Are my mom’s, brother, and 2 friend’s gifts gonna be late? Fuck yeah.

I’m just gonna sit here and ignore the fact I feel like I was unprepared for Christmas this year. Because honestly once it hits October don’t expect me to be on top of any A game for anything. One of these years I’ll get my productivity back on track — even in my seasonal depression months. My BFFF says I need to stop cussing in my writing, fuck you bruh just kidding. You’re adorable. I appreciate you. Endlessly. But I had to. Lol.

This week I want to manifest sanity and avoid headaches lol.

Wishing you all a calm and festive week ahead!

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Anyone else feel a little bit rushed at the fact that Christmas and New Years are just way too close to each other? Like dang, can we get some time to recover from Christmas?!

Happy New Years week!

My BFF texted me on Christmas Eve asking if I had my resolutions list ready yet. Tbh she’s later than usual asking me this but my mind has been a foggy mess since November so it wasn’t something I had really put any thought or anything into just yet. I’m now reminded that I need to get on that this week. Along with whatever else last minute 2021 things I set for myself like: creating space for new things by getting rid of things I don’t need. Or catching up on all my recap blog posts. Oh and reading 7 books. Which seems like a small list now but it entails a lot of detail.

I also have to get a start on what I want to release for 2022 on the shop. This is one I’ve been working on but I’m coming up blank. At least I got to catch up on A LOT of sleep this weekend. Thank goodness for that.

This week I want to manifest;

Getting my ass in gear and to do my best to finish all the last minute 2021 things I need to get done.

What are your plans for this week? Or for the New Year? Have you started your resolutions list yet?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve blogged anything; my mind has just been thrown around everywhere. I really wanted to do blog/vlogmas but I just wasn’t prepared at all. It’s okay, I can jump in now, it’s not too late to!

This week I’m trying to get things back on track. Trying to get back to updating my shop and my shop blog as well as post more on my Disney and food accounts. I’ve just felt so stuck… most so than usual here. And I think I get like this every time I come back from Florida too… I remember how alive it feels there and to come back to TX where it feels slow paced… just sucks. Literally wondering why I even moved here, honestly.

This quote from Hamilton really struck a cord with me, because it’s been a quote/concept I’ve carried around with me my whole life. It’s also probably why I’m not a huge fan of Burr. I’m more like Hamilton in so many ways.

I told my BFF that 2022 is going to be the find yourself bitch year. Which means going wherever my soul tells me I need to go. Be around the people who have always had my back. Be the real me and not whoever people here think I am.

And if I don’t stand for the things that make me me, then what will I fall for?

This week I want to manifest just that — to do the things that make me me. Time is ticking and I’m not getting any younger. I’m tired of being unhappy and it’s up to me to change that.

What is something you want to manifest this last month of 2021?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

This Fall has been… very insightful so far. Very, very… insightful. And life can throw us a ton of curve balls as well as drop us in the darkest of places with no idea on how to get tf out.

But for the first time in a long time, I’m fine this Fall. November can be a hard month for me so I fill it with being nonstop busy. Doing NaNoWriMo, going to school, picking up a ton of reading challenges. Anything that gives me no room to be idle in November. But this year I want nothing more than just that. To be idle. I wish I could talk more about why but it’s not something I want to get into just yet.

This week I’m hoping to get some catching up done. As well as packing for my trip. Setting plans on when I’ll see my friends when I’m in Florida and putting up the holiday stuff on my Etsy and my shop. I wish I could stay in Florida longer than just 3 days. But it’s better than nothing. I’ll be back soon!

This week I want to manifest patience. In trusting the universe and the process. In having the ability to focus and stay in my lane. Amazing things can happen if you give yourself the chance to manifest them.

What is something you want to manifest this week?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

This week is pretty much You Got It by Vedo.

This Fall/Winter fuckery in TX is really throwing me off and making me feel drained and cold. Two things I do not like! I tried going to the gym yesterday in my complex and there were kids fucking around in there being hella loud and taking up all the machines to just play on them. Then they went outside to smoke Black & Milds. Literally thought I moved AWAY from this type of shit. So I ended up just walking around the complex and to 711 for snacks. Granted the complex is huge, so it’s fine. Plus it was super nice outside. It made me miss chillen with my friends back home.

Go get that degree, focus on me.

There’s something comforting about a friend, or whatever telling you to focus on them when you’re trying to change a situation in your life. And even though I’m not friends with said dude that this reminds me of, still glad he was there when he was. Random memory.

I’m hoping to get caught up with blogging and a bit of reading this week. I should aim to put new products up on the shop but honestly… I haven’t opened Procreate in like 2 weeks. I’m stumped when it comes to holiday ideas. It should be WAY EASY to come up with something but my mind is just blank. I also have to get ready for our trip to Orlando — I’m hoping I pick up some inspo while I’m here. I miss Orlando so much.

This week I’m manifesting;

More energy by hopefully setting a regular sleeping schedule (as much as I can). The energy to catch up on Nov blog posts and work on my core/ab work outs. I’m not trying to pull my back on the trip!

What are your goals for this week?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

I tend to forget I control my life. No one else does and no one else has the right to.

That just because I’m not happy with where I am, doesn’t mean it’ll be like this forever and to work for the life I want. I told myself that I wouldn’t let someone else stop me from doing the things I want anymore and I really need to remind myself of that this week.

I’m capable of anything and I need to stop selling myself short!

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Ooh look what’s back this week! Idk if it’s Mercury Retrograde but this weekend has been flooded with a few hard hitting realizations.

Sunday was World Mental Health Day and USUALLY I have some well thought out post on social media and my blogs but this weekend I was just… I had the worst creative block. And a sneezing fit. But that’s different.

And if I could grant you peace of mind, would it be enough?

Something about this segment that seems to repeat itself through out Hamilton lives rent free in the front of my mind lately, not just that but it strikes a cord with me.

I struggled a lot growing up. I was shy because I was insecure. I was insecure because I was never encouraged; I was encouraged by my Lolo but he passed away when I was 9 and I had nothing after that. I was told a lot of hurtful things growing up that undermined my intelligence, my perception of myself being a good person, my beauty, my anything. Anything you could think of. I spent a lot of my childhood depressed and feeling worthless. I TRULY DEEPLY felt like I was a waste of space. That everyone in my life would be so much better off and happier without me bringing them down or getting in their way.

I still carry these insecurities with me. I’m MUCH more aware of them and it only took me 30-something years to realize most of them were far from true. Here’s the thing though — you could be 110% aware that something isn’t true about you. But because it was drilled into your head that it “is true” you start to doubt yourself. DESPITE KNOWNING that it’s not true.

I had refused to wear shorts and skirts and dresses until I was 31. And I fuckin lived in Florida. I refused to be outside of my house in anything less than a tee shirt. I hated my legs, I hated my shoulders, I hated my collarbone. I hated that I was flat chested. I couldn’t understand why anyone would truly be attracted to me. At 13 I started thinking about suicide. At 14 I met my really sweet friend Dru. He was adorable and popular and he was really sweet and kind. And I was like, in love with him for awhile, I asked him out like 5 times and he said no every single time. It’s cool, I never held it against him. And honestly we’ve been really close friends for the last 21 years, so.

I have so many memories of him convincing me that I’m worth something. That my life is mine to make. And even now 21 years later he still reminds me he needs me here. This year I’ve been reminded that people really fuckin love me. People really fuckin support me. I have the MOST amazing friends a girl could ask for.

This is getting way longer than I thought it would.

My friends have played a huge part in helping me build myself back up.

Just stay alive, that would be enough

I caught COVID in May and the amount of friends who would check up on me, who sent me get well gifts… was touching. I know my friends love and care about me, but I guess I just didn’t really think about how much I meant to them. This year has been reminders of exactly that and it’s something I’ve needed.

This week I want to manifest that everything I think I am, I am. I want to stop selling myself short.

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Talk less, smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.

Possibly the worst advice I’ve ever heard. I watched Hamilton not too long ago and I’m completely utterly obsessed. It’s been the only thing I’ve been thinking about for DAYS now. I mean I started listening to the soundtrack months before I decided to watch it. I just figured it wasn’t my type of musical. Despite 2021 seems to be my year of historical fiction.

That moment when you realize you’re probably Alexander Hamilton in this musical. Minus the advice he gave his kid. I refuse to watch that entire scene ever again. Mf I was sobbing and I never cry at movies.

It’s a pet peeve of mine to come across people who don’t stand for anything. Not just that, but have the audacity to stop someone else from standing what they believe in. I don’t need anyone to fight my battles, never have and never will. But also, don’t stand in my way. If you don’t agree with me, cool. Sit ya ass down. My ex husband (when he was still my bf) hated that I was pro-gay up until we divorced. He literally thought that children who are AROUND gays would turn gay themselves. I remember buying a shirt when I was 19 that said “I you don’t believe in gay marriage, don’t marry one” and he thought it was “stupid”. He hated that I was passionate about animal rights. He hated that I wasn’t a fan of eating meat either. And don’t even get me started on how “stupid” he thought being vocal about mental health was. Or how he was convinced I was “making up” OCD and anxiety because “that shit isn’t real” DESPITE that I went to therapy for 8 years. That he would come with me to. WEEKLY. But you know, yeah, I’m def making this shit up. Mf, what.

It was his theory that if you stayed quiet, no one would have anything against you. Spoiler alert: if a mf wants to hate on you, they will.

I think I’ll talk more and smile less. I think I’ll let them know what I’m for and against so there isn’t a chance for miscommunication. Is it possible to manifest staying true to yourself?

Btw, Aaron Burr annoys me lol.

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Hey guys!

I know this post is going up late but at least it’s going up today lol!

Last week/end was a bit challenging; where one part of my life did amazing, it wasn’t without some kind of drama. Which is fine, sisters fight or disagree. It’s what they do. But the drama was escalated a little further than that. Which I wasn’t expecting. But that’s all I’m going to say about that. I’m not going to let anything distract me from something I worked hard for, the universe likes to throw curve balls.

I have some super exciting things going into production for my shop this week. My husband also drew a few ghost Pokemon’s for me to use since I was flipping my shit over how much I was struggling with them. One of them is going to be my Ko-Fi option for October as a keychain! There’s also an option for a sticker instead or both! I was hoping to launch it for Sept but I haven’t come up with a theme sooo, yeah, that shipped sailed lol.

This week I’m also planning my Disney Halloween trip! I’m super excited for this and I’ll be trying both Halloween snacks as well as Food & Wine eats! I’m also going to be seeing some friends I missed on my last trip that I’m absolutely looking forward to seeing — and a brand new cutie who’s due this week!

This week I want to manifest;

The reminder that even if something else in your life is sinking, it doesn’t mean everything else sucks. Not at all. The ability to be able to choose what I want to invest my energy in, foreal this time and do exactly that.

… and the ability to post reguarly here again!

Wishing you all a safe and productive week ahead!