Life Update | Oh hi, I miss you

Since prepping and launching my Etsy store, my blogs and most of my social media have kind of.. been pushed to the side. Not on purpose, it just sort of happened.

I did finally launch my Etsy shop, which I’m very excited about. What started off as a Disney creative outlet turned into a Filipino inspired one instead. I do have a bunch of Fall ideas that are Disney/non Filipino themed, but it’s just crazy how that sort of happened. I’ve been playing with a bunch of sticker paper and I even gave in and bought a full sized Cricut because the Joy was pissing me off. So now I’m on the search for my favorite type of paper and finding the right lament… and holographic paper. It’s a lot lol. Ironically the tee’s are way easier to design/produce. There isn’t much there to search for lol.

I got to see Wicked for the 15th time last night as an anniversary gift from Bub. In all the 14 times I’ve seen Wicked no one else has bought my (or the person coming with me) tickets. So it was kind of nice to have him buy my tickets but I also felt super bad. We did have floor seats and I’m glad he enjoyed the musical. The Glinda on tour is my favorite. She’s so extra and bubbly and cute. I loved her performance! Tums didn’t come with us, but we bought her a Wicked plushie lol. We had to. We’re those parents. She loves him though, so that’s all that matters.

Literally all of July in my camera roll is shirts and stickers I’ve been designing, inspo shots and like the random Target trip lol.

I am however SO ready for Fall!

How have all of you been? I miss being here!

Monday Mindful Manifestation

I love these; really wish I knew what to search for when it comes to the cute illustrations on Canva!

I’m feeling a bit neither here or there today. The weekend was a bit of a blur. I am feeling a little discouraged but this is how I work sadly. I get super obsessed and excited about a project idea… then I kind of… debate quitting. The only thing that’s never happened with is blogging. But blogging/journaling has always been my personal therapy so it probably isn’t seen as a project in my head? I’m not sure.

This week I’m manifesting a little bit of self care.

I find that if I tend to stray away from talking on the phone or verbally talking to my bff’s I get like this more often lol. Doesn’t help that they both have super time consuming jobs (a firefighter and a mental health wing nurse), the time zones don’t help either but this is adulthood.

I have also stopped Saging and it’s been a bit since I’ve done aromatherapy. I don’t even remember the last time I took a bubble bath — I’m not sure why all of these things I loved have slipped away from me suddenly.

If you’re struggling like I am lately; here’s your reminder to take some time for you this week. No one’s got you like you got you. So it has to be some sort of priority that you take care of yourself, for your sake and sanity.

I hope to remember to Sage more this week, to read a new book, take a walk on the treadmill at the gym (I find it soothing) and squeeze in a bath this week (I got myself a Sleepy bath gift set for myself this weekend from LUSH).

What are some ways you’re hoping to indulge in a bit of self care?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Do you remember who you were before someone tried to tell you who you are?

No one knows us better than we know ourselves, despite what anyone thinks or wants to believe. They don’t live in your head or soul, they can’t hear your inner thoughts, they only know what they see on the outside.

So why do we let other people dictate who we are. What we do. What we’re capable of? It’s easy to listen to someone on the outside, and I’m still trying to figure out why and how that is. It’s frustrating af. But apparently knowing this doesn’t make it easier to stop letting it happen. Not everyone has the best intentions for you — no matter who they are in your life. Some people just don’t want to see other people, esp those close to them win or do better than they are.

This has been heavy on my mind this last week. I’m diving into a project I’ve been thinking of for literally over 12 years but just never had the courage to actually do. It’s amazing what having the right people around you can convince you that you can do anything. I realize every time I feel myself holding back and wondering why. What am I so scared of? It’s not like any of this is new or harder than anything else I’ve done. It’s just, different.

I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone this year. I feel like I’ve been stagnant the whole time I’ve been in TX and it’s making my soul itch. I really want to talk about what I’ve been working on but it’s also been why posts have slowed down around here as well. I’ll link my instagram for it soon!

It’s been raining here all week. Yesterday it got up to 80* and my Floridan self regret not wearing shorts. The heat here is like CA. It just HITS you. It’s not humidity which feels like a warm hug from inside a marshmallow.

I hope you all have a happy and positive week!

Well, hello June

Well, hello June

How are we 6 months into 2021 already? How the heck is time just flying so dang fast?? Kinda sus if you ask me. So here I am again, in June. The literal worst freakin month of the year for me. It’s the anniversary of a once was very special date, the anniversary of my Lolo’s (grandpa) death, the anniversary of my first pregnancy that ended pretty tragically and the anniversary of my divorce. Awesome, right? But it’s also the anniversary of Penny and Axelyn’s first date. Man I miss those (literal) cat’s. But not enough to spend $22/month to see her face. At least, not right now (she also lost her beach house sooo, I’m a little afraid to see her right now).

I spent a lot of June spacing out. Staying in bed and like… binge watching shows. Which I would LOVE to continue my annual pity party tradition but it’s a bit hard with a overly bubbly toddler pulling you around. All day. So, instead, I decided to literally pack my calendar with millions of things to do. Including getting my first massage. I went in for an adjustment last weekend after WEEKS of not getting one; and she said most of what was tense was from muscle tension. Say less; I’ve been telling myself to start doing spa days back in Jan anyway.

Here are a few things I hope to get done in June;

| Work on designing shirts & launching Etsy store
This is one I’m really really hoping I get done this month. I’m telling myself to come up with 2 designs for each fandom to launch with. It’s mostly finding the right combo of elements that’s really setting me back. I might be overthinking this. But I mean, overthinking something isn’t always a bad thing!

| Work on wax melts
This is another I hope to get to; I’ve been wanting to work with making wax melts since 2015 and just never had the GO to do it. I got a candle kit for review and I figured that was a sign from the universe to get on it.

| Work on selling and unhauling books
I have a ton of books from Owlcrate that I didn’t really care for when they came out or I didn’t even unwrap out of the plastic. From like, 2 years ago. If I haven’t read them yet, I probably won’t. So. They’re gonna go. I typically sell the ones I can at Half Priced Books and the ones I can’t or that get a low return I donate them.

| Refresh kitchen pantry & snack box
This is one B gets on me about literally all the time and I’m tired of hearing it lol. I’m a sucker for all snacks new and seasonal. And I need to start putting those snacks up on review on my food blog that really really needs to be built up already. SoPleaseReadMyFoodBlog. I’m doing better with clearing out the panty but I haven’t touched the snack box in the office yet. And I need to, because I think some of the stuff in the way bottom are expired.

| Work on typography
I’ve been working on this for the last week. I’ve always been in love with typography, quotes and fonts. So I decided to make some of my own. But for some reason now that I’m putting this in front of me, I can’t come up with any good quotes. Most of my “good” quotes came from word vomit blog posts in the past which brings me to…

| Keep up with journaling
I’m obsessed with the Noteshelf app on my Galaxy Tab. I literally write everything in there and it has so many pages to keep you SUPER organized. What I like the most is that the planner I have has a page under the daily stuff where you can write down notes and stuff. I use it to journal my day. And it’s become a habit that I’ve really been enjoying. I get to reunite with working on my hand writing and actually writing.

| Play 2 new games
Since getting my Galaxy Tab I’ve been downloading a bunch of really cute games and since I don’t have to worry about it deciding to not charge like my iPad sometimes does (more on that later) I feel a bit more comfortable playing games on it more. There are a few iOS games that I do want to play on my iPad and try out, so I’m hoping I can try a few more of these games I’ve downloaded this month. Also a few demo’s on the Nintendo Switch and start Stories of Seasons!

Normally I’d have “read x amount of books” but reading has taken a bit of a back seat lately and that’s fine. I don’t typically like reading unless I know I’ll have uninterrupted time to do so. I’m currently reading Jessica Simpson’s new e/audiobook and I’m still working on Dante Basco’s Rufio to Zuko. They’re both fairly short reads and I’m still struggling to get them read. Let’s not even begin on my NetGalley TBR, I’ve stopped logging on so I can finish the books I already have.

What are some things you hope to get to this month?

Monday Mood

Still recovering from COVID so this week I’ll be doing nothing but focusing on self care. Still feeling pretty drained and fatigued. Hoping this isn’t a long lasting thing.

I’ve been binge watching Schitt’s Creek and I’m already on season 3; I’m loving it so far. Stevie, David and Ted are my absolute favorites. Bob annoys the living hell out of me, like how is that dude even a person. This has become my favorite night time routine.

I’ve gotten my sense of smell + taste back, thankfully. So I’m trying to zen out as much as I can this week with uplifting and aromatherapy scents.

Half way through May and I haven’t finished a book yet — I’m still working on the audio for Everless and still reading Dante Basco’s From Rufio to Zuko. I really want to get started on the Filipino history books on my TBR this month but I have a feeling those will take longer than I anticipated.

I also plan on taking some time to recenter myself and figure out a plan to a healthier lifestyle. While I try to eat healthy/better there are some things I stopped doing; like walking mostly and also meditation and yoga.

So those are some things I’m hoping to manifest and put into action this week. I’m glad most of the sickness is over, I just want to get back to being 100% better again. And stay there.

Wishing all of you a healthy and happy week ahead!

Monday Mindful Manifestation

My doctor put me on a second anti anxiety/sleeping aid and it works a little like Xanax but not as strong. It’s been making me chill tf out the last few days, that’s for sure. The adjustment isn’t horrible like it was with Zoloft but it’s still a bit of a struggle. Having to just deal and still be the best mom is hard some mornings. I had the first Sunday in months where I felt find enough to send Tums and B to his mom’s house like I use to so I could get some sleep and catch up on some work. I’ve been a lot more hungry lately which is a good thing, it’s been awhile since I’ve actually felt hungry.

Self Care is super important, but in the world like this where our new reality is constantly changing, it’s hard to keep up with even sleep let alone self care! But if you’re anything like me, you know the feeling of burn out by putting yourself last. The only quiet time during the day I get is when I’m cleaning the rooms and taking a shower. I don’t even take bubble baths anymore, and they’re my favorite! I should start again but I always feel like I don’t have time anymore.

Things I want to start this week as self care;

➔ Play more relaxing music

I just rediscovered some songs on an old Spotify playlist I made years ago. I forgot how much I loved some of these songs. They definitely take me back to the days I worked at Disney and my busy life back then, which you all know I miss. But listening to relaxing music really has a way of changing your whole vibe.

➔ Cleaning my space

This means going through and getting rid of anything that doesn’t spark joy. I managed to do this a bit in the living room the other day and it felt so good! Now imagine if I did that for a whole room. A whole apartment?! Okay, I’m going to slow it down a bit. Baby steps. But truly, clean your space, clean your mind. At least, I’m really hoping how this is going to work.

This also includes replacing light bulbs. Had to throw that self reminder out there for myself. Cause honestly, I know how stubborn I can get. I irritate myself all the time with it. Like yo, these bulbs need to be changed!

I also want to go back to melting a wax melt before bed/at bed time. I associate a lot of feelings and memories with song and scent. I also got an aromatherapy set for review and I’m wondering if I want it in the bedroom or in the office.

Which I told myself when I moved here that I would have a section in the office of all things zen. A space that can provide me with some calm and clarity. So, I really need to work on bringing that out.

➔ Truly let go of those in my life who also don’t spark joy

I recently discovered someone who was important to me blocked me and that’s fine, if that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. I can’t tell someone how to feel and vice versa. But it did remind me that I was holding on to a memory, an idea, a someone that I use to know and I think one of the most painful things we will experience in life over and over again is that sometimes the people who are the most close to us can grow into someone we don’t know. That realization feels a lot like abandonment and manipulation; but people are allowed to grow into whoever tf they want, when they want.

In addition to that: when people show you what they think of you, believe them the first time. If it doesn’t align with your values, your vibe, then cut them off too. Those truly close to you won’t badger and tell you what to do with your life or time. People these days lack the ability to just fuckin listen. They also lack empathy and compassion. That’s their problem, not yours.

➔ Take time to show up

I have a ton of friends who will jump up to remind me I’m dope af. I’m funny. I’m pretty. I’m cute. That I’m strong and I take chances and no shit from others (typically). But I have a hard time telling myself these things and believing it. We are our insecurities. As I age and since I was pregnant I’ve grown to hate my face and my skin more and more. I don’t know how to put on foundation that makes me look airbrushed, no matter how hard I try.

I use to be obsessed with this thing I’d do from time to time I’d call Project Pretty and yes, most of the time it did build my confidence doing these challenges. But no matter how many times I tell myself NOW that I’ll do this, I can’t seem to find the time. I barely have time to sleep properly. But I really want to make more of an effort to show up everyday this week. That means if I decide to just do my hair — that’s fine. If I decided to do my makeup just because — that’s fine. I use to have a makeup routine that took me 4 mins to do before work every day. I need to find another quick easy look like I did then.

The goal is to boost my self confidence. And I hate that I’m placing so much of that on physical appearance but hey, we’re transparent here right?

What are some things you’d want to start doing as an act of self care this week?

Hello March

Anyone else feel like Feb was just the longest Feb this year? I feel like it took forever for this month to end. But so much happened, I guess that’s why it feels that way.

There’s a lot of things that are suppose to be going on this month, so I’m hoping they actually happen. Tums birthday is this month, Easter is at the beginning of April, then my birthday. Thank goodness it’s NOT on Easter this year at least! There are a few book releases I’m excited about as well!

I discovered cozy gaming and looked more into ways to self improve in Feb, so I’m really excited about the things I’m planning in March — or at least as excited as a person who has to do shadow work can get (ain’t nothing exciting about shadow work).

March Goals;

〉 Work on getting my mic to work so I can stream Animal Crossing

〉 Fully plan Tums bday early

〉 Work on eating better and

〉Work on… well work

〉Fix iPad

〉Re-evaluate finances

〉Prep for Easter early

Middle GRADE March

〉Rebrand hazearella & gamearella

〉Gain 200 more blog followers

I’m trying not to overwhelm myself, esp since the next two months are generally really busy for me to begin with. But there are a few key things I do want to try and get done.

March Book Releases I’m Excited About;

There are so many new releases coming out in March! I know I forgot a few… I definitely forgot to include the one by Christina Lauren! But these are the YA reads I’m super excited about!

I’ll be doing Middle Grade March again this year. I’ll somehow find a way to squeeze some of these books in this month if not next. I know adding these to my already huge middle grade TBR is ambitious.

Here’s to hoping March will be productive!

What are some things you want to accomplish this month?

Hello November

Hello November

Show of hands of how many people are glad this dang year is almost over.

I have a few basic goals for this month… that mostly have to do with money, budgeting and flipping my shit because this is the time of year where I just want to go shopping, constantly. Though I’m wondering if the fact I choose to still stay away from malls will help ease that. Nah, probably not. Not when there’s stuff like Afterpay around online.

It’s almost the end of the month so there’s also prepping for holidays and yearly recaps. And hoping 2021 will be a shit ton better!

Continue reading “Hello November”

Happy Blogtober!

Who else forgot it’s now October?

I had planned to do Blogtober this year but I didn’t factor in that we were moving this week and how much mental space that would take, especially considering that our day of move was LESS than smooth. It was actually horrible. We came in a week earlier to figure out space and where to put things and noticed that the construction workers were using our fridge to store their lunches and apparently alcohol. When I went to return the key I told them about it and they said they’d have it all cleaned and sanitized.

On move in day nothing was cleaned or sanitized. I went and disinfected the whole inside of the fridge, the shower and the bathroom floors in the master bedroom. I haven’t cleaned anything in the guest room/bathroom yet since we’re still working on moving things in and there would be no reason to when it would just drive me crazy that everything is getting “dirty” again. We were also missing our microwave rotating plate and our hot water was off. Which we didn’t even notice until we went to take a shower at 330am. So yeah, we took miserable cold showers.

We’ve now moved everything from our old apt to our new one and omg, I had like 3 boxes of candles. Idk how I got to this point, honestly but I’m absolutely over it at this point. I have a hard time letting go of things but this is insane. I shouldn’t have 3 full boxes of candles. And that doesn’t even include the insane amount of wax melts I also found.

Moving really makes you realize just how much shit you have and how much you’ve held on to.

Continue reading “Happy Blogtober!”

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Kamusta ka?

I know I missed 2 other blog posts last week and I’m hoping I’ll have time to make up for it this week; that’s just life. I got caught up in rebuilding hazearella which I’m proud of the results at the end of the week!

Continue reading “Monday Mindful Manifestation”