I couldn’t think of another title and that scene has been living rent free in my head for weeks. A lot has been going on here, mostly stuff I don’t talk about cause I don’t know how while still being “a blogger”. As much as I love how blogging has evolved over the years… I also hate it. I’m sure I’ve talked about this before.
I’m a clutter bug. I think it’s part of my OCD — to hoard things sometimes. I get it from my mama. No, foreal. But I try really hard to be as bad as she is. But I remember having stock piles when I still lived at home because I didn’t want to run out of something, esp if it was my favorite something. I let that habit go when I did the DCP because it was hard to get to the store and it was hard to keep up a stock pile and the apartments were so small. And this did tug at my soul a bit because of just how hard things were. But, I survived. I didn’t start trying to stock pile things again until the pandemic happened and everyone was buying out the disinfectant wipes — I literally can’t go a day without them. My OCD won’t let me.
Having a toddler also makes things look more… cluttered. And she cycles through toys so often that it gets overwhelming so this past weekend I finally went and got bookshelves so I can unpack my boxes of books. As well as tidy the shelves in the office and the closet. I’m still working on things but the space feels so much lighter already. I unhauled a ton of books that I need to go sell. I’m still a loss on what to do with her toys. She has this big bin for all the small stuff, and you’d think clean up would be easy. Just throw everything in. But some things she doesn’t want in there. she gets super particular which is fine, I can relate. I switched her play tent to face the other way and she about flipped tf out. She was crying and refused to come in her room. And that’s when I learned my daughter is a creature of habit, like I am.
I also ordered a bunch of candles I don’t need but wanted. I’m usually mostly drawn to Bath & Body Works candles but lately it seems like their prices have gone up while their quality has gone down. I’m finding that not even half way through the burn they’re already losing their scent/throw. So I bought some candles from DW Home since they released this years summer scents as well as some from Goose Creek. I also got Zeep Bath wax melts like I do every summer. Their stuff is some of my fav! I usually post about candle stuff on hazearella. If you’re into that stuff. I have the DW Home Salted Caramel Latte candle (that looks like an actual coffee cup) on my desk right now and it’s so strong lol. But I’m excited about the progress of purging things and sorting things.
How is it we’re almost half way through 2021? How did that happen so fast? I know I missed one of these for April, there was just so much going on that I didn’t want to make myself a list of things I wanted to get done in case it didn’t happen. And I’m glad cause after our trip to Disney I was pretty much what felt like — but I’m sure couldn’t be — jetlagged for weeks. I felt like my head was stuffed with cotton and the only other time I felt like that was when I first flew to Florida from California in 2011.
I feel much better now and I’m ready to get back to work with writing ALL THE THINGS… or all the things Tums will let me. She’s moved on to waking up in her sleep when I’m trying to blog at night so, we’ll see how writing all the things goes.
I can’t think of anything major on our calendar for May besides you know… medical follow ups. Not sure if Tums is due for shots again or not, they haven’t notified us. But I find that her new PCP usually doesn’t.
With that said, I’m hoping to get back into writing again and reading some more. My NetGalley TBR needs help. And so does my actual physical TBR; I’m finding in 2021 my favorite genre’s are switching from fantasy to historical fiction. From YA to middle grade. I just haven’t been in the mood for a romance heavy series/read lately. But I’m finding as much as I love fantasy everything I haven’t really been reaching for fantasy titles. I’m even struggling with retellings which is insane. Is this a thing that just happens? Man, the more and more I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore.
It’s a new year and we all have new goals. I’ve been really into the idea of rebranding and learning more about blogging and doing more with my blog(s) this year. I’m debating on keeping my blog here on wordpress or going self hosted. I don’t want to lose the community aspect of keeping it here but I do want the freedom of ads and changing the template. It would be cheaper to go self hosted than to pay the $300/year wp is asking for in order to do all that stuff. Freakin yiiiikes.
This week I’ll be sharing a few blogging type of resources so if you’re not into that; I’m sorry lol.
If you haven’t noticed I changed the blog name; I’ve been wanting to for about a year now ever since my husband’s sisters stalked my Twitter. I’ve changed the name a few times but I honestly couldn’t think of something to settle into.
I know I wanted to convert this space to the two things that mean the world to me: Disney and words.
I somehow fell back into book blogging and I forgot how much I truly missed it. It always feels like being part of something bigger than yourself. Having all these worlds to fall into and live in for 300 pages at your fingertips. And ironically I’m finding that a subject I’ve always wanted to get into but never did is now something I look for: Historical Fiction. Time travel and paraell universe reads have always been a weakness but I’ve never read an entirely just Historically Fiction book until this year. And I feel like I’ve been missing out!
I know Disneyland still has no plans to re-open any time soon and that my love and my home Disney World IS open. I’m hoping to be able to get there some time this year so I can start posting Disney content; until then I guess it’s just other types of Disney content!
I hope this new name gives me a new start that I’m hoping for and encourages me to stop censoring myself.
Why does it have to be so hard to find a mental health resource?! Since the last update I finally managed to find a psychiatrist (cause those are the ones who give you meds) but not from the list provided to me from my insurance company. I actually had to find one via Psychology Today’s website. Yes, like the magazine. So thank goodness for that but at the same time… what in the actual FUCK?! Why would my insurance company send me on this never ending run around?!
As you can see, the last week on this blog has been pretty quiet. Same with Twitter. I’ve just been struggling with my mental health and with being tired and with awful headaches/migraines. November is always pretty stressful and crammed for me but it’s harder to get these things done with a clingy toddler to watch at the same time. I have due dates for things and I have no idea how I’m going to get them done.
Speaking of; the decrease in my meds has been really messing me up, big time. Since my OBGYN said she couldn’t give me refills anymore for my Zoloft I’ve had to decrease from 150mg to 100mg to prevent going without for as long as I can. But because of this my mental clarity is starting to fog back up, I can’t remember words again, my excitement and inspiration is gone. And I’m just so sad. I feel like I’m on the brink of a sloppy sob fest any fuckin minute now.
I’m honestly so sick of being incapable of doing the things that use to be so simple to me pre-pregnancy.
I had my psych appointment and it went super well. Do I recommend tele-webcam-health? Not really. Connection issues can really mess up the flow of the conversation. I would had much rather had a telephone appt. But I did get the help I needed and I am on the waitlist for an actual therapist as well. So. Progress, yay.
The weeks are just zipping by, but I say that every Friday, don’t I?
This week was filled with making tons of phone calls, sorting moving stuff and trying to sort my stuff before we have to start packing. I’m so awful at getting rid of things and I really need to start slimming down on the stuff I have and the stuff I buy in the future. I’m a stress shopper and I really need to start being a stress SAVER. I invested a bit in some Pinterest/Instagram templates and now that I have I’m like what can I post next… while I have a TON of content pending, I tend to feel like ehh, maybe now isn’t the best time then I miss the seasonal window.
I got back on FFXIV, kinda. There’s so much to catch up on and honestly all I did was change my gear cause even then, the upgrade from the last time I was on in insane in terms of the ilvl (the item level; the higher the item level the less squishy you are). I’m told in order to keep leveling my crafters (I’m a total crafter in any game I’m on) I’m going to have to do Main Story Quests and more dungeons. Sigh. Weird ass Shadowbringers requirements. I also hopping back on Animal Crossing and HOLYYY WEEDS.
When smartphone’s became a thing I remember wishing for a phone that I could blog on. This was still years in the making but as technology started to creep that way, it took longer than my impatient self could handle. Now that we actually can blog from our phones has been such an amazing thing to witness and realize that technology, no matter how long it took, has come a long way.
With that said; here’s 4 mobile app’s that making blogging that much easier.
This one should be super obvious! I’m not a fan on the new WordPress DOT com editor as sometimes it will lag or freeze my laptop. But the fact I can either draft or just write down a whole post if I wanted to, I could is just SO much easier! I also found that you can even attach your domain hosted blogs from another provided!
It wasn’t until maybe around 2012 when Smartphones allowed you to actually blog and it was through the browser. It’s so crazy to see how far technology has come. And how long I’ve been obsessed with blogging. Now that there’s actual app’s that allow you to fully write, customize and schedule your posts all from your phone still blows my mind!
The WordPress app is so helpful and if you use either WordPress DOT com or DOT org I highly suggest it!
Am I the only one who absolutely loves reading posts like this? I got this idea from Lark & Linen’s Monday Musings and Joy The Baker’s Let It Be Sunday; two blogs I’ve been reading for what feels like FOREVER. I have to admit I look forward to both of these blog posts of theirs every week!
Then again I’m pretty much a sucker for all things round up post like. I know I love lists but dang, do I love them that much? The answer is yes, yes I do.
And because this is a mental health blog (technically), I think I’ll add something I’m thankful for every week (I use to do weekly recap posts on my old old personal blog and I honestly miss doing them but I don’t think there’s an audience here for that). I need to sprinkle MORE positivity into my life (cause you can’t have too much, I hope)!
I usually only run errands on Sat (tbh it’s the ONLY DAY I get to get out of the house, no joke) but last Saturday I got to run them in one of my current favorite cities. It also turned into a foodie day of yummy Macarons, cupcakes, a new chicken place find and donuts that my husband and baby ate before I could even have one. So there’s that lol. But also this week I spent some time texting my childhood bff turned DOCTOR and of course it’s always a good week when my bff AJ can squeeze some time to call or you know, we align our days so that we’re both awake at the same time lol. Adulthood is hard, but the fact that my friends who are states away make me feel like I’m never alone really speaks volumes and I love them all to The Death Star and back!
I noticed I don’t really have many helpful posts on this blog which are things most people search for or are drawn to; me included! I love writing about my personal experiences and expressing myself but also I want to be able to help people. One of my goals this year was to build a space for myself where I could open and freely talk about Postpartum Depression and I created a blog specifically for that. Maybe some day I’ll feel comfortable enough to share it across all my other media’s but for now, I’m still paranoid my in laws are stalking my stuff so… there’s that.
I’ve been blogging since 1999. I started on Opendiary then TeenOpenDiary (which is still one of my favorite platforms looking back) then moving on to LiveJournal, Xanga and DeadJournal. I also dabbled in the random LiveJournal-like blog platforms like Blurty (which I’m so sad shut down before I could download my entries) and the like. Then settled into BlogSpot for awhile. I also blogged on Vox which was a great platform and of course both WordPress.com and WordPress.org.
Originally I started a blog because I was tired of my mom reading my diary.
When I was around 6 my dad bought me one of those kid diaries where it came with a literal lock. My mom hated that. She was a bit controlling and extremely nosey when I was a kid and felt like she was entitled to read my diary since I lived in her house. And that’s something I constantly struggled with growing up. There were times the things I’d write in my diary got me in trouble. One particular one was where my brother had done something and I took the blame when it wasn’t my fault and how he gets away with everything. I was maybe 8 or 9 when I wrote that. And as I got older it got worse but in that specific time frame I got in so much trouble for just saying he gets away with everything.
I know it’s been quiet here the past week. My intention was to study up on Pinterest marketing and learn all I could about Pinterest ads since I don’t exactly know how to get it to drive traffic to my blog. I posted a bit on my hazearella IG, gotta post all those Spring/Summer product shots before I move into the Fall stuff. I’m also trying to work out a post sched for this blog. I had originally planned to post 3x a week with 2 of those posts being weekly features (such as this one and Monday Mindful Manifestation leaving 1 post open for whatever else. Seemed organized enough but I’m working on the networking part of blogging also.
Anyway, I hope you all had a great week! It’s finally the weekend though with Covid it hardly feels like anything to celebrate or plan for anymore.
Geez, I’m just dark today I guess. ON TO THE LINKS.