Happy Lunar New Year

This was originally suppose to go with my MMM post this week but no matter how I wrote it, or edited it, I just wasn’t happy with it. So there wasn’t an MMM post this week.

But it’s still Lunar New Year and I still want to post about it! We’re suppose to go see the Dragon Dance this weekend but it’s looking like a low of 12 degree’s this weekend. And a low of ONE FREAKIN DEGREE on Monday. I’m a Floridian ya’ll. And a Californian before that. HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THIS SHIT. I’m literally scared. As someone who has anemia and eczema that’s triggered by cold — I’m going to wrap myself in hella fleece blankets constantly applying the thickest hand cream I have. ALL DAY. Otherwise ya girl is gonna get wrecked.

For as long as I can remember my mom has always celebrated Chinese New Year by giving us red envelopes and scattering symbols of luck around the house. I have my own “good luck” decor that I admit I haven’t put up yet! I keep saying I’ll organize my desk and I just… haven’t. I mean, I have, but I haven’t the way I want to. It’s so overwhelming! And just by doing that small thing every year, it ended up being something I looked forward to and something I want to keep going in my life and in Tums.

Last year I had planned to spend it at Disneyland since they do a thing for it over there; but B was set on us leaving Tums here with his parents while we went and being in the midst of postpartum depression there was no fuckin way I was going to leave her so I ended up just cancelling the trip. I really wish they’d crash course people on PPD when you’re doing all that hospital tour shit. This year Disneyland is closed.

I do go to a celebration in GP where they have food and a Dragon Dance, but because of Covid, I’m not sure what it’s going to be like this year. That and the weather is ridic at 12* not to mention Texans act like they can’t drive in the cold and there’s been accidents everywhere. There was a 100 car pile up this week. Like, really, how. And it wasn’t even snowing, but it was sleet I guess? I think that’s what B had said.

Last year I also celebrated by grabbing a new CNY themed products from MAC and Sugarfina, thankfully Colourpop’s Mulan collection shipped before then as well; this year MAC came out with the same products but different packaging. I had hoped for something with an Ox on it. So instead this year I got something from Colourpop’s collection and of course Sugarfina.

The year of the Ox is my year, so I’m a bit bat shit crazy this year about it.

Friday Finds

Welcome to the first Friday of February.

Am I the only one who hates writing that word out lol. I said I was going to change this graphic didn’t I. Man, when was the last FF I did?! I hope Feb (this is what it is now) is treating you well so far and that hopefully the weather where you’re at is getting warmer! We’ll be celebrating Lunar New Year tomorrow and it’s one of the things I look forward to in Texas!

Valentine’s Day is also just around the corner. It’s my favorite self holiday. Maybe I’ll blog about why and what that means! But I just love the vibe that surrounds this holiday and the bright reds and pinks! And following that is Easter! Also another favorite self holiday! Even though it takes over my birthday every 5-8 years. I literally just skipped my daughters birthday, whoops. But that’s in there as well. She’ll be 2. Where does time GO?!

On to the links;

| Deandra over at TBPD talked about The Hate You Give. I haven’t seen the movie yet or read the book but I know it’s a big title/series in the book community!

| Redbook lists 11 Traditional Lunar New Year foods to eat; ironically I’m not Chinese though some Filipino’s will argue we’re all part Chinese. But my mom always made a point to celebrate Lunar New Year for as long as I can remember. Every year she’d give us red envelopes and decorate the house with symbols of good fortune and prosperity. It’s something I looked forward to, and it’s something I hope I can have Tums grow up with as well.

| With Spring on the way I definitely need to keep this in mind; 7 Air Purifying Plants! I had an Aloe Vera plant once… it died. I need to do better lol.

| SheKnows compiled a list of Unique Valentine’s Day Gifts on Etsy; I’ve been on such a big Etsy kick lately with buying digital planner stuff, clip art and brushes for Procreate! Plus, it’s always a good feeling to help a small business!

| ICYMI I posted My Feb Goals earlier this week! Let me know what are some things you want to accomplish this month.

| Kayleigh at Kayleigh Zara shares tips on Manifestation Techniques; something that I should definitely prioritize in 2021!

What are some interesting links you’ve stumbled on this week?

Hello February

This post is going up later than I had wanted it to; I think Tums has hit her terrible 2’s officially cause homegirl is acting like everything is worthy of a meltdown. Some even get several meltdown’s. Her and her dad haven’t been going to his mom’s house once a week like they usually do to give me “my day” because his family caught Covid so they won’t be over there for another few weeks. Or months. Whichever.

January felt both super long and kinda short.

There’s a ton of new releases this month I’m anxiously looking forward to. There’s also Lunar New Year coming up as well as my favorite holiday: Valentine’s Day. I don’t have any VDay tradition anymore… hard to have traditions in Texas honestly. Maybe it’ll be easier when Tums is older.

I spent yesterday working on my Twitch channel. I have to set up my capture card and Switch so I can stream Animal Crossing. But I miss streaming; hopefully a screaming toddler in the background won’t be too much of a problem lol.

I don’t have very many goals this month since I’m trying to be a bit more realistic about them in 2021;

| Start streaming set up

This falls under clean your damn desk as well. Cause right now, it’s a whole hot mess. I need to set up the capture card, the switch, the webcam and the mic. And find somewhere for this Wacom tablet that I use but don’t use. That I don’t really use but would really like to start using, pretty much. I love using Procreate more but it doesn’t hurt to learn how to use 2 different tools.

OFF TOPIC.

So yeah, tidy/clean desk and set that shit up. Like, this week. Like today. Or tomorrow. Or now.

| Tidy books

I don’t have bookshelves just yet. This seems to be an ongoing issue in my life. But I do have those IKEA shelves I had in the last room that acted like bookshelves. Do they hold all my books? Hell no. But I at least had them somewhat themed in the last room whereas in this room… I don’t even know WHAT is going on with them tbh. But whatever it is, it needs to stop. I also need to let some of these books go.

| Tidy office closet

FOR THE LOVE OF. It’s literally a straight up storage closet. I had originally planned to put some of Tums outside/off season clothing in there and obviously some office stuff. Maybe the printer just so it’s not in the way… but as of right now there’s no space on any of the built in shelves for anything. I need to consolidate of the boxes in there as well since they ALL just have clothes. There’s also a few baby baby things and some toys Tums doesn’t even play with anymore I need to get rid of. I get buying kids toys but I also… don’t? Like they don’t really play with all of them. And it really just ends up taking so much space + it’s just more shit for ME to pick up since I’m the one cleaning the most.

| It doesn’t spark joy? It’s gotta go

This has been a never ending goal of mine. To get rid of things that don’t spark joy. But I’m SO AWFUL with letting things go. I’m seriously the worst and every moving season I’m reminded of why am I like dis. But I really want an apartment that reflects that I’m you know, an adult. At least find a home for half this shit. Except the books. Cause again, no bookshelves.

Just thinking about this one is giving me anxiety. Ahh.

| Manage spending, for the love of… is there a finance god?

I read somewhere that some people are madd shopping online since the lockdown’s started happening cause it gives us SOMETHING to look forward to. And you know what, I felt that in my soul. But just because I feel things in my soul doesn’t mean I have to keep doing them. Not to mention Tums bday is coming up and so is mine so if I have any plans to get my shit together N O W would be an awesome time to start.

I need to reevaluate all my subscriptions as well cause shit is nuts. But what’s with all these apps that make you pay to use them? Like I get that I’m too lazy to open Photoshop up sometimes but goddamn. I’m not that lazy to pay $20 for a photo editing app?!

| Prep Easter posts

I always plan to be ahead of the seasonal game and sometimes I manage to do well. Other times, I’m finding, since being a mom, I don’t do as well. I have zero idea’s for Valentine’s Day themed posts for this year and I’m just gonna roll with that. I’m not gonna stress about it. If something hits me, cool. If not, cool too.

Easter however is slowly turning from my holiday to Tums’ holiday. This year she’s big enough to run around and find things. She’s also old enough to identify things. So thinking of covid friendly idea’s is def going to be something I’d like to write about. If not here, then on my motherhood blog!

| SKILLSHARE BITCH

Anyone else cuss at themselves to let themselves know they mean business? It’s like that line from Rap God by Eminem:

Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself ’cause I make me do
What I put my mind to

I found 2 months free of Skill Share in Dec? Jan? I don’t remember. Point is, the 2 moths are almost up if not already up. I have a bunch of classes bookmarked like Illustration, SEO, water coloring. There’s so many different classes to take! I really want to brush up on my SEO/social media stuff since it’s been awhile since I’ve really paid attention to it and basically this is how certifications become useless lol. So let’s not do that. I also want to learn illustration. They also have yoga classes, self improvement, manifestation, just a ton of other really cool subjects to choose from. And with this resource at my fingertips why not use it? Like no, seriously.

If you want to take a look at what all they offer here’s my code for 14 days free. No this isn’t sponsored but it’s 2021 and we’re in a pandemic, what do you have to lose?

What’s something you’d want to learn this month or this year?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

I’m sleepy; well not sleepy but kinda drained. Woke up yesterday sneezing like crazy (and for the rest of the day) and feeling sick. I had a huge cry fest the day before so I figured maybe it was just a side effect of that. I took NyQuil last night anyway, just in case. And I feel a lot better today, just… drained.

This weekend has been a bit of an eye opening experience and I had thought to move this blog to a self hosted place but seeing how hard I worked on it so far and how far it’s come, I just couldn’t. I will link this new blog I did set up anyway, but I think it’ll house more of my harder mental health things.

2021 is about courage, right?

So let’s talk Shadow Work.

If you’re unfamiliar with what that is, I included a link where you can read about it. Author gets extra points for going on a mini rant about Darth Vader (Anakin, I still hate you). I haven’t done much talking about Paganism here… or really anywhere. Despite it being almost 20 years since. I guess I’m still… I don’t know. The space I’m in now, I don’t feel like I’m free to 100% be myself. I feel like if I step out of this box that I’m put in of “who I am” (or who they think I am), they accuse me of not being myself. As if someone else can tell you who YOU are. These, btw are the people who need to do shadow work. Or get therapy. Definitely get help.

I love things that make me think about my soul, does that sound weird? Like things that bring triggers to my attention without triggering me. Okay that made less sense. Just, roll with me here. I came across an article this morning that made me think about things. Obviously when someone gives birth, a lot of things in your body changes. However with me it wasn’t JUST my body that changed, it was pretty much my spirit too. I don’t know how to explain it without going into a whole rampage about it.

Point is, this weekend made me think about a few things and a few other things I need to address with myself and find solutions to. Shadow Work is something I’ve always known I’d have to face eventually but just never wanted to willingly go there. If it came up, ok. But to actually willingly dive into things? I’m getting drained just thinking about it.

But the thing about being around people who aren’t like me is the constant reminder that I’m not like them. I don’t go around destroying other people to make myself feel better. And why? Because I’m insane about self reflection. I can tell you every single one of my flaws proudly because they make me who I am. I can tell you my strengths because they too make me who I am. I can tell you why I do/respond the way I do. I’m as transparent as tracing paper and yes, that’s not an easy combo when you’re also sensitive af but I’d honestly rather be sensitive and transparent and get hurt than be a whole soul of bad juju that goes around getting a kick out of hurting other people. Cause that’s not ok. That’s not what family does. At fuckin all.

So in this week, moment, month, year — whatever — of newly found self reflection and shadow work; I need to remember that even though it’ll bring back a lot of dark and bad memories that I will be okay. I have an amazingly strong support system that is always right behind me.

And beyond that, I’m from the hood. I can handle anything.

Monday Mindful Manifestation

This week’s intention;

I don’t feel not enough as much as I use to, I still feel like I don’t do enough but I myself feel enough for me, anyway. I need to remind myself that everything on my to do list doesn’t have to all be crossed off. That’s what tomorrow is for. Or later. As long as I get as much done today, that is enough.

The kiddo’s toys is taking up lots of space, granted this is her room. Well half and half my office but it’s hard to literally split things like this in half. She does try her best to keep her side tidy when I ask her to, and really what more can you ask of a 2 year old lo. But this room does need some organizing, for sure.

I honestly can’t believe how fast January is already, we’re mid month at this point and I’m super excited for the changes ahead!

What’s something you want to manifest this week?

Rebrand for 2021

If you haven’t noticed I changed the blog name; I’ve been wanting to for about a year now ever since my husband’s sisters stalked my Twitter. I’ve changed the name a few times but I honestly couldn’t think of something to settle into.

I know I wanted to convert this space to the two things that mean the world to me: Disney and words.

I somehow fell back into book blogging and I forgot how much I truly missed it. It always feels like being part of something bigger than yourself. Having all these worlds to fall into and live in for 300 pages at your fingertips. And ironically I’m finding that a subject I’ve always wanted to get into but never did is now something I look for: Historical Fiction. Time travel and paraell universe reads have always been a weakness but I’ve never read an entirely just Historically Fiction book until this year. And I feel like I’ve been missing out!

I know Disneyland still has no plans to re-open any time soon and that my love and my home Disney World IS open. I’m hoping to be able to get there some time this year so I can start posting Disney content; until then I guess it’s just other types of Disney content!

I hope this new name gives me a new start that I’m hoping for and encourages me to stop censoring myself.

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Welcome to 2021’s first Monday Mindful Manifestation!

I’m actually writing this on Sunday morning and it’s snowing and still really sleepy, but I’ll get to that later this week.

I decided to switch it up a bit. Sometimes I’ll do things I want to manifest for that week and other times I want to try out affirmations. I know they can sort of be the same thing, but just a little more different. More direct, I feel like. It’s only the 11th day of 2021 and although a lot has happened in the world, I feel like I’m failing myself. Weird flex, I know.

This week I want to remind myself that I do have time to do the things I love.

I’m so bad with managing my time and with doing chores before anything and everything else. Which you know, isn’t that bad esp when you have a toddler and a husband. I feel like this place never stays clean somehow. I’m also convinced that straight men don’t care too much about having clean environments. And as someone with OCD, this drives me bat shit crazy.

I’ve been trying to block out time during my day to read and to do other things I want to do; and some days I’m able to and other days I’m not. I really need to be better at that.

So here’s my reminder to myself this week!

How’s your 2021 going so far?

#onelittleword2021

Every year for the last 6 years I’ve done #OneLittleWord; unfortunately the graphic program I used to make my previous ones has decided to just… disappear. I knew the day would come lol. So this year I created my own graphic.

I don’t know how I feel about it. But here it is.

My #OneLittleWord for 2021 is Courage.

Courage; to do the things I’ve recently been aware I’m re-afraid to do. Courage; to convince myself the lies my mind, my anxiety and my OCD tell me are false. Courage; to heal properly, even if getting there will hurt like hell. Courage; to see my friends and family again. Courage; to BE better cause Tums deserves the very best side of me.

The courage to finish writing a book. The courage to really go in on blogging and content creating. The courage to go back to school and finish my final year and get my BA in Communications, how much of a game changer that will be. The courage to stand up for myself, knowing I’m standing alone. The courage to remind myself of who I am because how can my oldest friends know and I sit here and act like I don’t?

I spent 2019 in the dark and I spent 2020 in a hazy fog. I’m finally feeling myself reach the less foggy area’s of the things that have recently happened. But even when I’m in the clear, the fight isn’t over. The fight is never over, it just changes. And that’s fine. My life would be boring if I never had to fight something.

My boundaries and my roots are incredibly important to me, and I will make that loud and clear in 2021. And this time no one is going to stand in my damn way.

Friday Finds

I debated on doing one of these this week; Christmas/New Years week always feels like some really weird in between gray area. I lose sense of time, of what day it is. Even with a strict list of what posts are suppose to go up this week all I can think of is but I really just want to sleep. It’s been cold af here in TX and I’m not living for it. I hate the cold. So much.

There aren’t many links I’ve discovered this week but I am having fun reading everyone’s yearly recap posts and 2021 goals posts! So if you have one please link it below in the comments, I’d love to read yours!

Cnet talks about 6 Useful Amazon Echo Tips You Should Be Using; My dad gifted me my Echo Dot the year before he passed away. And he was so excited for me to have it. We use it for almost everything in this household. I even got an Echo Show for my bedroom and planning to get a Kid’s Echo Dot for the office/Tums playroom!

Fast Company is talking about The 26 Best New Apps of 2020; I’m always on the hunt for a good app to fall in love with — though I really need to organize my ISO’s. But we’ll talk about that part later.

I signed up to be a contributor at ThriveGlobal; It’s been a goal of mine for awhile to publish writing. I just… don’t know what to write about. They have a ton of interesting articles covering a bunch of different subjects.

Shealea from Shut Up, Shealea (interesting blog name for sure) talks about 23 Books by Filipino authors; I’ve been trying to add more Filipino authors as well as learn more about my culture in 2021. There’s a lot I don’t know and there’s a lot of differences when you learn about it from a Philippines versus Western stand point. I want to be able to educate and expose T to as much of her Filipino culture as I can and as someone who’s first gen Filipino American, I worry a lot of the things I was exposed to will be lost since I don’t have those certain roots to the Philippines itself. I try to speak Tagalog and Cebuano to her as much as I can but it’s not enough for her to pick up, I don’t think. Which also worries me.

The downside to the holiday being over? Putting the holiday decor away. Ugh lol.

How was your week? Did you find any cool links around the web?

Things I’m Leaving in 2020

Things I’m Leaving in 2020

2020 has showed us a lot of things about ourselves, our surroundings, our company we keep and about society. There are a lot of things I still carry around with me that I shouldn’t. That I don’t need to. Pain is hard to cope with. Loss is even harder. I’m the type to cling on to the darkness because the light just means what goes up must come down. And you can’t go down if you’re already there.

But I also need to remember; I’m not some broken teenager with a notebook full of secrets. I’m not that girl who constantly wished for someone to notice her and love her just as she is. I’m not searching for someone to fill a void in my life anymore.

Cause I love myself more than anyone could ever love me. Except maybe my mom and my daughter and my cat. I learned that I don’t need some dude to make me feel my worth because I know my worth. And at times I tend to forget. 2020 made the heavy things even heavier, and I’m tired of carrying it all around with me.

I’m not one to actually fully heal from anything. I kind of just store it away and pull it out from time to time. So I’m not entirely sure I’m capable of healing. But hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?

I have a tendency to ask my friends whenever it seems like they’re stuck at a fork in the road: if this was your life one year from today, would you be happy?

My bro has a habit of throwing the same question at me sometimes: but what do YOU want?

Continue reading “Things I’m Leaving in 2020”