Author: Hazel Vee

Hey, I'm Hazel! I'm a first time mama to a very active insanely smart toddler. I'm a self taught graphic and design artist. I live, breathe and manifest Disney life. A former Walt Disney World Cast Member who somehow ended up in Texas and is constantly dreaming of warm weather and people who actually know how to drive in the rain. I'm a bookworm who once had a successful book blog and loves to review and word vomit all things books. A lover of words and a bit of a shutterbug. A lifelong gamer as well as a complete and total foodie. My brain is 60% thoughts of food, 20% my anxiety, 10% content ideas and 10% everything else. I was diagnosed with mild anxiety, OCD and depression in 2006; I was in therapy for 8 years with a fantastic therapist. In 2014 I had a massive mental breakdown which resulted in me giving in and taking meds. A divorce followed right after that. I ended up back on meds in 2019 cause apparently every mother in law I've had has a problem with me, this one however wants the whole world to know. Zoloft controls my anger for me. Oh I'm also madd sarcastic. Dry dark humor is my jam. And yes on bad days I go back to 90's rap of Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. Eminem when I'm really struggling. Grab a fizzy drink, a snack and the anti anxiety cure of your choice and stay awhile!

Self Care

Hello 2023, here’s my #onelittleword

January 5, 2023January 5, 2023by Hazel Vee7 Comments

Oh hey 2023, you’re here.

For the first time I don’t have an actual resolutions list. And I think I’m totally fine with that. If I learned anything in 2022 it’s that sometimes things don’t and won’t go the way you planned; especially if you’re like me and you’re completely driven by emotions. So whatever happens in 2023 just happens. Whatever comes by way, comes. And whatever finds its way out, just does.

I of course do have a #onelittleword for 2023;

★゜・。𝙱𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 。・゜☆

I’ve only recently discovered the power in boundaries. I wouldn’t say I was ever a people pleaser but I def didn’t have/struggled with boundaries in fear of upsetting others.

It wasn’t until I had Tums and realized how uncomfortable I was with certain things that I really didn’t like… of course setting boundaries is going to upset people and her dad’s mom was not happy every time I’d voice a boundary. But that made me realize just how important it is TO set boundaries. Without them people will just walk around disrespecting you like it’s fine.

2022 also taught me that boundaries are more important than ever. There are ways to tell if someone is truly in your corner or not and seeing boundaries for myself against those who I realized were not in my corner was definitely a difficult thing to do… but also much needed for my mental health.

This year I want to focus more on my boundaries, on building the foundation of a healthy life for myself mentally and emotionally.

Do you do #onelittleword? If you do, I’d love to know what word you picked for 2023!

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Brain Dump | Merry Christmas Eve!

December 24, 2022December 24, 2022by Hazel Vee1 Comment

green pine leaves with brown rope — Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

I feel like Christmas Eve came way too fast.

But I’ve also been disassociated for a few months now so… I’m sure that played a part in this whole thing. Sadly. We have a freeze warning here this weekend. I’m curious to know if it’ll snow. We don’t typically get snow until Jan/Feb so Dec would be super early. But judging how cold it’s been/going to be, I wouldn’t be surprised. I didn’t stock up on much cozies but we do have some cozy family things planned today.

Like making Hot Cocoa, watching Christmas movies and waiting to open Christmas gifts.

I typically can’t/don’t make it to midnight when it comes to Christmas or New Years Eve and with being in the third trimester now, I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s gonna be a struggle to get to midnight tonight lol.

I hope you all have a warm, safe and festive holiday weekend!

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Blogmas ’22 | WordPress Daily Prompt

December 20, 2022December 20, 2022by Hazel Vee1 Comment

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

I’m failing so hard on Blogmas this year but it’s cool. It’s fine. This is fine.

I’ve never done a WP Daily Prompt but this one caught my attention.

A year ago my life was a little different. I was mostly angry and resentful. I hated where I was, I hated my marriage, I hated everything. It didn’t help that 2021 sucked. I lost my Sophie the same week we got COVID. Oh, and I got COVID. After trying so hard to not. But this is Texas, everyone here is going to get it at some point.

My life today is not how I pictured it a year ago and it’s crazy to see how much can happen and change in just one year. I didn’t think I’d be pregnant again; I had planned on never getting pregnant again. This is my 4th pregnancy, but I only gave birth once, so yah, do the math lol. I didn’t think I’d ever know what it would be like to be with my literal childhood crush/best friend. So that alone was… interesting. It was a relationship full of fancy restaurants, where money wasn’t a limitation, and I could have anything I wanted. It was kind of unreal.

I learned a lot in that experience alone… and was reminded of how dark things can change a person. He was always there to help pull me out of my dark growing up but I couldn’t pull him out of his or what was happening. I learned that I don’t have the time or tolerance to teach someone how to love me — despite knowing someone your whole life they can still not know you or not know how to love you. And that’s totally okay. Not everyone is meant for everyone.

I learned a bit about family and how disappointing that can all be. How much I wish my dad were still around. That sometimes parents know they SHOULD do better but that doesn’t mean they WILL do better. I learned my daughter loves me as I am, that everything else doesn’t matter. As long as she still gets mommy cuddles and kisses. Seeing things through a toddler’s eyes is amazing to witness.

I’m both curious and worried to see what the next year will bring.

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Blogmas ’22 | The Christmas Questions Tag

December 19, 2022December 19, 2022by Hazel Vee1 Comment

I got this from Deandra over at The Black Princess Diaries! If you haven’t heard of her, I suggest you check out her blog. She has a ton of fun lifestyle posts!

What’s your favorite Christmas movie?

Serendipity is my go-to for the holiday/Winter season. But A Christmas Story is my go-to for Thanksgiving. I don’t typically watch it any other time for some reason… I should probably change that. But it was a tradition for me and my brother to load up our plates and watch it all day on Thanksgiving growing up since we were usually home alone… and high.

Have you ever had a white Christmas?

I actually never touched snow until a year after Tums was born and it snowed here in Texas. It was a random day in January, then it snowed all day again on Valentine’s Day. You’re so close from a white Christmas Texas… yet so so far.

Where do you usually spend your holiday?

At home. Like in my own apartment. Preferably by myself lol. I’m not big on holidays or being around family really. Part of why I moved states away lol. The kiddo and her dad usually go spend the day with his family and we open gifts on Christmas Eve. Butttt that’s about the extent of my Christmas-ness.

What is your favorite Christmas song?

It’s between Mistletoe by Justin Bieber and This Christmas by Chris Brown.

And the music video that made me fall in love with Justin Bieber; All I Want For Christmas is You.

Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

Yup! And all the way up to King’s Day.

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

I just went through a mental list and… that’s a no.

What holiday traditions are you looking forward to this year?

I’m currently sick + pregnant so my bloated ass isn’t trying to go outside in this cold lol. I did want to take Tums to see some light events around our area I’ve always wanted to do… we do plan on taking her to Sea World also, so hopefully we’ll all feel better by then to actually go do that.

Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

FAAAAKE! I did a real tree once and hated it! It didn’t even smell as strong as I thought it would and required maintenance. Then when it died.. holy dead needles. Never tf again.

What is your favorite holiday food/snack?

I’m not sure… it used to be Peppermint Bark but honestly I think I’ve only had 1 or 2 Peppermint Mocha’s this year. The Sugar Plum Cheese danish from Starbucks is pretty good oh and the Cranberry Bliss Bar! Non Starbucks snacks though? Other than my Hickory Farms favs I don’t really have one lol.

Be honest, do you like giving or receiving gifts better?

Receiving. I’m not gonna lie. Plus I think I suck at gift giving when aiming with a deadline. I’m better at seeing things in stores randomly and thinking “oh so and so would like this!”

What is the best Christmas present you ever received?

I’m gonna go with my Apple Pencil and my KitchenAid even though I’ve only used it once. I’ve wanted one forever.

What is your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

Disney World, duh. Or Disneyland since they have The Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion!

Are you a pro present wrapper?

Not really. Some things are way easier to wrap than others. And if I give up, in a gift bag you alllllllllllllllllllllll go.

Most memorable Christmas memory?

That one time in 2013 I completely cancelled Christmas because my husband at the time was a fuckin asshole. Okay maybe going to Disneyland for Christmas for the first (and only) time when I was 21. And maybe the Christmas before Tums was born. That was probably the best tree and best Christmas theme/aesthetic we had.

What made you realize the truth about Santa?

This one time I wanted marbles for Christmas. Like literally the only thing I wanted. I was probably 6 or 7? My mom kept saying she “talked to Santa and he said he didn’t have any”. I think she was scared I’d choke on them or something stupid. But my overthinking ass figured out Santa wasn’t real after that lol.

What makes the holidays special for you?

The fact I get to celebrate Christmas Day alllllooonneee doing nothinnnnnggg if I want to and eat ice cream and watch movies I grew up with all day.

Travel

Blogmas ’22 | Disney Springs Review: Everglazed Donuts

December 3, 2022December 6, 2022by Hazel Vee2 Comments

In the last 10 years Disney Springs has gone through a lot of changes. A lot of new and interesting places have opened up and honestly, I’m thankful they weren’t around when I was still working there otherwise there goes my paycheck… along with all the fucks I gave.

Everglazed Donuts is located on the West Side area of Disney Springs, right next to the AMC theater.

Their set up is a lot like Dunkin Donuts with the way that the donuts are displayed. They have a bunch of unique flavors including Purple Glazed Ube which I was super surprised to see!

They also have a food (and coffee) menu that features a donut burger and chicken sandwich. When I lived in Florida there was a place that had this pretty amazing donut burger. I wasn’t able to try it this time around, but I do plan on trying it next time!

I grabbed 4 of the donuts which are freakin huge:

Glazed, 50th Anniversary, Ube & Strawberry with Sprinkles

I was expecting them to be placed in a donut box but as you can see, they’re in individual containers.

Continue reading →

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Hello December + Blogmas!

December 1, 2022December 3, 2022by Hazel VeeLeave a Comment

And just like that, it’s already December.

Happy Blogmas to those of you who plan on doing it this year. I’m still undecided if I am or not. I’m just really hoping this post goes up on the first tbh lol. Not sure if I’ll have the time to invest in keeping up with Blogmas since it somehow slipped my mind that December was even coming up; pregnancy brain. It’s real and it sucks.

I don’t want to over goal myself (there’s a word for this, I just can’t think of it at the moment) this month. Especially since I’m late on putting up my Christmas tree and the rest of the apartment decor. I don’t know how time just moved so fast past me.

| Put up the Christmas Tree

I usually have this up by October. This year that didn’t happen. October was a pretty emotionally draining month for me and a bit of November as well. Christmas was the last thing on my mind honestly. Despite knowing it would cheer me up a bit… I still didn’t feel too invested in it. Now it’s December and I feel like I’m late to my own important date. I’m hoping to get the tree up at least before the weekend is over! Unfortunately it’s not as well thought out or going to be as decorated as the previous tree’s we’ve had but this year itself has just been… weird.

| Christmasfy the apartment

Same thing along the lines with the tree thing; I need to update the fairy lights in my room as well as put down the fairy lights and garland by the TV (and someday upgrade that TV cause having a non smart TV is not the move).

| Bake something

I’ve had my kitchen aid for a year now and I’ve only baked one thing. Like?? Not cool. Plus I’ve always wanted to get in the holiday spirit by baking.

| Watch Christmas movies

I use to make it a point to watch a certain amount of Christmas movies… and I have a few that I watch every year. I think I skipped this tradition last year so I wanna make up for it this year.

| Go to 1 Christmas event

I hate the cold. And it doesn’t help that it’s started snowing here in TX in the winter. I’ve always wanted to do Enchantment or the Gaylord stuff but always decided against it since it’s just too cold for my liking.

Tums is old enough to remember/retain things now so maybe I should suck it up and go to something this year.

| Tidy for the New Year

I say this every December. And I always have high hopes I’ll really do it this time. Truthfully I get overwhelmed with how much stuff I do have.

I really want to minimize the stuff I do have… or have homes for them instead of just piling stuff up on a bookshelf or something…

Plus after all the fuckery of 2022, I want to go into 2023 at least with a tidy home.

| Read 3 books

My TBR has been suffering this year with all things considered… I’m def not going to hit my goal of 25 books read but I at least want to get through some of these books. I’ll try to do better next year… maybe lower my goal.

I’m sure I’m missing something important but I’ll get mad at myself when I remember lol.

What are your goals for December?

Travel

Monthly Favs | Nov 2022

November 30, 2022November 30, 2022by Hazel VeeLeave a Comment

This year has been crazy. And by crazy I mean crazy.

The way the year began and the way it’s ending are totally different. As someone who thought they had learned a lot from past experiences, I still had a lot more to learn. I have learned a lot more.

There’s so much more I want to say… but I really don’t know how just yet. I’m trying to go back to focusing on the things that make me happy and feel gratitude.

| Family Dates

We started going on family dates. Well we would go out to lunch and it was Tums who would call it a family date. Super cute, right? I forgot that date nights usually meant date night gifts. Every time Bubba took me on an actual date night there would always be a gift waiting for me.

He also got me this self help book I wanted by Lin – Manuel Miranda literally ran into B&N 3 minutes before they closed and grabbed me this book because I was talking about it earlier that day. Super thoughtful.

| Comfort Foods

I was able to get L&L which is like an hour away. Not too far but far enough. They serve Tocino which is a Filipino breakfast plate (and one of my favs) so I got an order of that to go. Did I pick at it before sticking it in the fridge for the next day? HELL YEAH. Also got one of my fav L&L plates, the BBQ Chicken. I use to get this every single day after school. Oh the memories…

Upside to being married to someone who’s Mexican? Requesting things like Elote and Caldo when you’re in need of some soul comfort food. I love the way he makes Elote. It’s always so warm and comforting. I also love that requesting Caldo doesn’t get questioned.

Strawberry pancakes with whipped cream and strawberry sauce; “you two are the only people who will make pancakes a dessert and want it for breakfast”. Me and Tums do fight over them though lol.

Continue reading →

Wellness

Hello November

November 16, 2022November 16, 2022by Hazel VeeLeave a Comment

I gave up on these posts awhile ago because I was getting discouraged about not even feeling like setting goals. But if I want to get back to my old self, I’m going to have to make a change myself. I feel like I spent most of 2022 just worried and upset. I’m not sure how much of the year I can salvage and at least get a few goals checked off. But doesn’t hurt to try!

| Set up the Christmas tree

This should had already been done but it’s not. I did get a tree, I just haven’t cleared space to put it up yet. I plan to before Thanksgiving at least… hopefully it’ll help my mental health.

| Catch up on October Reading Challenge TBR

I’m so sad I spent most of Oct depressed and didn’t even start on any of my October Reading Challenge books. This is my favorite tradition for myself and I get so bummed when I skip a year.

| Bake something festive

Planning on putting my KitchenAid to use this season. Not sure what I’m going to bake just yet… but I really want to bake something this year.

| Disney+ movie night

Disenchanted comes out this month and I still need to watch the live action Aladdin as well as Mulan. I know, I’m super behind.

| Enjoy family days

Family days are a lot more fun now that Tums is a full on child. I mean it’s not fun when she wants half the store but it is fun to have days out with her. We have some family days I’m looking forward to this month that I’m pretty excited about. And some Christmas stuff we have planned for Tums (and let’s be real, me as well).

| Catch up on gaining needed weight

Because I spent most of this pregnancy depressed, I’m wayyyy behind on the weight gain part of it all. I barely ate in October and as my tummy grows and stretches, it’s starting to become incredibly uncomfortable. I’m trying to do what I can to spend the rest of this pregnancy calm and not stressed out so that the baby won’t be stressed out and the labor will *hopefully* be as easy as it was with Tums. Though I guess that would be asking for a lot at this point.

I really need to find a way to stop feeling horrible about myself and my situation. It’s obviously not the best and it’s not ideal and I sure as hell hate spending the holidays pregnant but it is what it is, the most I can do is learn from it and be more aware of other people and their intentions. No matter who they are or how long I’ve known them.

| Get a prenatal massage

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m older this time around but my back has been killing me more than usual… but mostly in the mid back and not the lower back that usually bothers me. I’m sure getting a nice prenatal massage would be really relaxing and I love the spa I would go to to get massages. They have this aromatherapy thing going on as well and it was always so relaxing. I really want to get back into doing monthly massages like I use to.

I’m hoping November will be a better month for me than October was.

What are some of your November goals?

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Brain Dump | Where to even start…

November 14, 2022November 14, 2022by Hazel VeeLeave a Comment

This year has been crazy… and not really in the best kind of way.

Lying about things and keeping secrets isn’t something I do, ever. So it was hard for me to function after a while… the things I was holding in just grew heavier and heavier. I couldn’t really talk about it and I couldn’t write about it. Then things personally started getting worse and within that time frame I found and figured out my worth. What I would and would not ever stand for and I found that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, knowing them is something completely different. I would say I feel deceived but perhaps I need to re-evaluate my self toxic trait of being driven by emotion and find a way to be driven more by logic instead.

I filed for divorce earlier this year and that resulted in my 3 year old bouncing between houses. Which she seemed to cope with pretty well, though it started to get to the point where she would ask where her dad was or why wasn’t dad here. She asked me to spend Halloween with them which is fair, it’s my favorite holiday and my (ex) husband wouldn’t say no. The thing about him is that everything that had to do with this divorce was for it to work in my favor. I’m extremely lucky for that.

We separated earlier in the year; a few months later I found myself pregnant despite not really wanting any more kids. It was hard to hide my nausea and even harder to lie to my kid every time she asked if I “had a baby in my belly”. Meanwhile I found myself fighting more and more with the dad of his kid and all of it was just starting to weigh down on me. People close to me were telling me not to tell my husband because he would “for sure take full custody of our daughter” and so that fear stopped me from telling him even though I really wanted to.

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Books | My NetGalley TBR

September 8, 2022September 8, 2022by Hazel VeeLeave a Comment

I have fallen off the NetGalley wagon hardcore this year. Okay to be honest, the last few years. I’ve been sitting at 34% feedback rate for way too long and I really need to fix that! I’m hoping to bring that up in the next two months.

Here are 6 titles I’m hoping to get through before the end of October;

There’s been a lot of hype around Belladonna and The Book Eaters. I’m super excited to get into both of these titles the most. I do hear that The Book Eaters is a bit more than just… creatures eating books though. I haven’t heard too much about We Made it All Up but I seem to be drawn to titles with similar themes.

I’ll confess, I haven’t read Harry Potter. It came out when I wasn’t really into fantasy titles, so I always just skipped over it. I do like the movies and I hope to some day read the books. I’m really curious about The Psychology of Harry Potter since there’s so much that goes around about the books. I frequently go down rabbit holes when it comes to casually looking up The Hamilton’s so of course The Scandalous Hamiltons kind of caught my attention! I’m a sucker for all things Peter Pan. I have to many retellings though that made my DNF list. I think the only one I actually finished was Tiger Lily and that was years ago. Hooked looks interesting. It’s always a wonder what these villains did or what their lives could had been like.

I know 6 titles isn’t going to boost my feedback rate by much but hey, it’s a start!