4 Ways I’m Coping with COVID

4 Ways I’m Coping with COVID

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ve seen the spew of tweets of how I’m feeling. Which seems to change daily, hourly. I have no freakin idea anymore. But I’m convinced you can’t live in TX without catching COVID somehow. Esp since they lifted the stupid mask mandate.

B tested positive for COVID on Mother’s Day, and out of the both of us, he has the worst symptoms. He thinks he got it from a coworker who had it before he started showing symptoms. I however have been popping Vit C, Tylenol and eating greens like my dang life depends on it. I just haven’t been drinking water. So Mother’s Day kind of didn’t exist for me this year. I did try to cheer myself up and go on a Bath & Body Works shopping spree. I have super minor symptoms and I’m extremely thankful for that. But the micro symptoms I do have are annoying. And like I said — it tends to change day to day. Thankfully the body aches and the god awful dizziness is gone. That shit felt like my soul was trying to leave my body. Luckily I didn’t lose my sense of taste or smell.

And yes I’m mad I somehow caught COVID, but when you live with others there’s only so much you’re in control of. I’m trying to learn that and let it go, but man, it’s annoying.

Here’s 4 Ways I’m Coping;

| I started binge watching a new show
I’ve always wanted to watch Shidtt’s Creek. 3 episodes in and I’m already hooked. David MAKES that show. Foreal. The dad was also one of my favorite characters in my favorite movie Serendipity. Crocodile shoes? I miss having someone throw movie quotes at/with me.

| Journaling
As in, writing. With a pen. Well kind of a pen. Digital planners/journals have been my thing in 2021. I wish my dang iPad would start charging but the iPad Air 4 clearly freakin hates me. So right now I’m using Noteshelf which I don’t hate. It’s just finding a drawing app on Android that is as easy to use as Procreate that’s a bit of a challenge.

| Mobile Games
Pre COVID I was going on massive depression shopping sprees. Past me did manage to grab some bath salts thank goodness. But also a few new Switch games. Like Cooking Mama, Story of Seasons and a bunch of demos. I’ve also been playing a ton of Freecell and Solitaire on my tablet and my phone. I needed a puzzle game before my brain felt like it was going to deflate on me. So I went back to my roots and tbh I can spend all freakin day playing these two. I’m not sure why. My dad taught me how to play Freecell and I would watch my mom play Solitaire growing up (with actual physical cards btw).

| Not resting as much as I should
I have a huge problem with resting. I’m Filipino. WHAT is rest? How can I rest when the laundry needs to be done? The kid needs someone to play with? The dishes need to be done? THIS GODDAMN FLOOR NEEDS TO BE MOPPED HOURLY. Know what I mean? I don’t like laying around doing nothing. I reminds me of my dad who would just lay down waiting to die over every little thing and I don’t know. I just don’t like the idea of it. So I push myself to get normal things done. Except yesterday. I freakin slept in until 5pm somehow. I don’t know. And I can’t decide if it helped or hurt me.

I’m trying to be better at it, seriously. But I can only handle so much of laying around. Unless I’m playing a game or doing something. I’m truly trying to manifest getting over this thing as quick as I can. The quicker I do, the quicker I can get the vaccine and never have to go through this again. Cause even the minor symptoms suck. 7 more days until I can get tested.

Having friends that have been checking on me daily have been helpful and lifting my spirits. Shout out to those who have been messaging, calling, texting, ya’ll make this a little easier to deal with.

Here’s to hoping this is almost over.

My Top 5 Fav Filipino Snacks

My Top 5 Fav Filipino Snacks

Growing up Filipino American had its ups and downs; now that I’m older, it’s clear my parents sort of had no idea how to navigate life in America + raising kids + being American. I was scolded a lot for doing things that “we don’t do in our culture” like hugging my boyfriend for more than 2 seconds. Or standing in front of his house in conversation before leaving to go home. I don’t know, it was just… weird. And it was usually my dad who said these things but it was also my dad who loved my bf’s being around versus my mom really didn’t. It’s like the ones my dad liked the most, were the ones my mom didn’t like even more.

I was lucky enough that I was surrounded by my culture everywhere I turned. I was born in San Jose, CA and raised in Vallejo, CA. I was lucky that Asian culture was strong in both places and everywhere in between. I could get Filipino snacks/food from my mom making them or I could buy them pretty much anywhere. I was also really lucky that I grew up going to the Philippines. In fact a lot of my favorite Filipino snacks have some kind of Philippines memory attached to them.

I haven’t been back since my Lolo passed away; it’s been way too long. But it’s harder to get there as an adult and with everything going on. I def owe him a visit. And speaking of, I owe my dad a visit as well. It’s going to be so weird going home and knowing he’s not there anymore.

My culture is incredibly important to me. My roots are my everything and I don’t hide that. I’m a combination of the people I’ve loved and lost and the things I grew up learning as a Filipino American. I just hope I can pass these things to my own daughter as well as these snacks;

| Durian Candy
I know this is like… controversial, even in the Filipino community. My BFF who was born in the Philippines is even like “wait, you eat Durian? Why?” lmao. But I grew up eating Durian Candy. Every time my dad would come back from the Philippines or any relatives they would bring us some. And every time I went to the Philippines as a kid I would STOCK UP on this stuff! Because for some reason you can’t find these anywhere in the US. Like at all. I’ve searched loads of Asian grocery stores and even freakin Seafood City doesn’t carry them?! But hey, WHITE RABBIT FOR EVERYONE I guess lol.

And it’s so crazy cause growing up I never knew it was a thing people didn’t like. I guess because my family in the Philippines didn’t really act like it was a big deal. So it wasn’t until, I don’t know, I started dating my ex husband who’s half Filipino when I found out most people don’t like it. Probably one of the handful of things me and my ex father in law had in common — we both liked Durian. And the rest of the family didn’t lol.

| Otap
Okay, seriously, how can anyone hate Otap? It’s basically a crunchy, crispy fried biscuit with hella sugar on top and if you know Filipinos, you know we LOVE our sugar. We LIVE for sugar. SUGER ON EVERYTHING PLS. I freakin loved these as a kid. And for some reason there was always some in my house even though I don’t remember my parents ever eating them… weird.

And now as an adult? Yep, still love them. They bring back so many good memories of making a mess in my mom’s house sitting on the floor just shoving these things in my mouth lol.

| Mamon
I lived for these when I was pregnant and my mom would send me box full’s! I only like the butter one though. I feel like these have changed since I was a kid — I remember there being a cheese bottom and the top being more sweet. The ones now are just as good; if you’re needing something bland to eat but not boring I’d suggest these!

| Pastillas De Leche / Yemas
I have so many memories growing up and this candy. I remember my Lola showing me how to make them in the Philippines and recently my brother attempted to make them as well and sent me some. They’re fairly easy to make and they’re super yummy. Especially if you like things rolled in SUGAR. Told you we like our sugar.

| Ice Candy
I vividly remember when I first tried this; it was in the Philippines and my mom had made them. The coconut ones are my fav and if my childhood could have a taste, it would be this! She made them again when we got home, I’ve been asking her how to make them because I’ve been craving them. They’re basically Coconut milk + Coconut in a plastic bag almost but in a small popsicle shaped plastic bag, if that makes sense and frozen.

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They’re super refreshing on a hot day and the fact you bite in them in a plastic and suck makes it harder to make a mess, esp when it starts to rapidly melt!

Despite spending a lot of time in high school making Halo Halo’s, Buku Pandan floats and whatever that drink with the balls (kinda like boba but not) I don’t eat any of those snacks lol. I’m really not a fan of Halo Halo, and when I do feel like eating it, I’m super picky with what’s in it.

Have you tried any of these? If not which one would you be more likely to try?

It’s Monday, what are you reading?

This last week was bleh.

I was sick but not with like a fever. It was mostly body aches, migraine and fatigue. B had been coughing for a few days and he swore he wasn’t sick, despite openly coughing all over the house. Well 2 days ago he then says “I don’t feel all that good, what if it’s Covid.” I must had dropped everything I was doing to stare at him for asking such a stupid question.

Then you get tested and quarantine?!

Then he said maybe I got him sick cause my throat was scratchy earlier last week. Yeah and I spit out a tonsil stone. But Tums hasn’t slowed down or been any extra fussy, so whatever we got she didn’t. Or hasn’t. Or she just doesn’t care, though last time she had the flu she was pretty miserable. So I’d think she’d show some kind of apathy towards running around like a crazy person all day long.

So, that’s why I’ve been away-ish. I just didn’t have the energy or the mind set to really post anything. I feel better now, but still kind of drained and really hungry even though it’s 350am. I’ve been up for like, 2 hours. And my lower back where I usually have pain is like, throbbing. It’s so annoying. I haven’t gotten adjusted in 3 weeks so… yeah.

My reading has also slowed down which sucks. But hey it comes and goes, when it’s here it’s great. So let’s focus on that.

Books I Read;

Hello May

Hello May

How is it we’re almost half way through 2021? How did that happen so fast? I know I missed one of these for April, there was just so much going on that I didn’t want to make myself a list of things I wanted to get done in case it didn’t happen. And I’m glad cause after our trip to Disney I was pretty much what felt like — but I’m sure couldn’t be — jetlagged for weeks. I felt like my head was stuffed with cotton and the only other time I felt like that was when I first flew to Florida from California in 2011.

I feel much better now and I’m ready to get back to work with writing ALL THE THINGS… or all the things Tums will let me. She’s moved on to waking up in her sleep when I’m trying to blog at night so, we’ll see how writing all the things goes.

I can’t think of anything major on our calendar for May besides you know… medical follow ups. Not sure if Tums is due for shots again or not, they haven’t notified us. But I find that her new PCP usually doesn’t.

With that said, I’m hoping to get back into writing again and reading some more. My NetGalley TBR needs help. And so does my actual physical TBR; I’m finding in 2021 my favorite genre’s are switching from fantasy to historical fiction. From YA to middle grade. I just haven’t been in the mood for a romance heavy series/read lately. But I’m finding as much as I love fantasy everything I haven’t really been reaching for fantasy titles. I’m even struggling with retellings which is insane. Is this a thing that just happens? Man, the more and more I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore.

Here’s a few things I want to get to in May;

Continue reading “Hello May”

6 things I learned in 36 years

6 things I learned in 36 years

JFC I’m inching closer and closer to 40 and I’m not about it.

I got to finally spend my birthday at Disney World after 4 years of being away. It’s also my ten year anniversary since my first Disney College Program in 2011. So it was super important I was there this year, even though I was missing a few people. But man, to be 26 again would be kind of amazing. I miss all my friends from my first DCP but I don’t miss the marriage drama I was dealing with at the time. Or the strings of bad news that was waiting for me when I got home after.

It’s also the 10 year anniversary that my dad was diagnosed with Cancer (which took his life almost 2 years ago). The 10 year anniversary that my cat Meez was shot by a jackass kid in our neighborhood and passed away before I got home. The 10 year anniversary of my brother getting into an accident that resulted in him getting a blood clot in his brain — extremely thankful he recovered just fine.

And also the 10 year anniversary that a mama cat dropped off her entire liter in our backyard randomly; those kittens changed our family’s life. No joke.

I wrote about turning 35 last year and I honestly feel like I just wrote that blog post. It’s seriously crazy and scary how fast time flies. Even in quarantine I guess. Also super proud I finally got to link my own post, what the heck is that called? Inner linking? Ok no, that’s so far off but something like that.

I’m not going to write 36 things I learned in 36 years because this past year there wasn’t much to reflect on or consider. So that would just be torturing myself for no reason. Instead I’ll do 6 and see where that goes.

6 Things I learned in 36 years;

Continue reading “6 things I learned in 36 years”

It’s Monday, what are you reading?

I have a trip to pack and prep for so I thought I’d pop a reading post up today instead. I’m super excited for various reasons but one of the biggest reasons is I finally get to see my BFF! I haven’t seen her since 2008; we both tend to chase too many dreams and despite what state I’m in or what country she’s in, we’ve always tried our best to check in with each other. So when people say “distance” is why “X has happened” I think it’s crap. But maybe it’s just me.

This is also the first time she’s meeting Tums (who’s her goddaughter) and the first time Tums is meeting someone from my life that she might remember (she met my friend Eric when she was like 7mo’s, so). Yes, she’s 2 and hasn’t met anyone from my life. I know, it bothers me too.

Currently Reading;

I just realized I never finished this blog post rfom this morning. Omg.

Yes, I’m still listening to Bridge of Souls but I only have like an hour or so left in the audiobook. Annnd I’m not really sure how I feel about it in comparison to the previous two in the series.

I also started The Archive but it’s super confusing I guess because “Da” is probably her grandfather? I thought it was her dad so I got super confused. The concept of this book has always intrigued me and it’s definitely been on my TBR for way too long. Since I’m nearing the end of the MG series I figured I’d pick this one up.

I read a review of The Stolen Kingdom that really bumped this up on my TBR. I’m not regretting any of it. Plus it’s a NetGalley title and we all know how it is with those lol.

Hoping to Read;

Down Comes The Night: Magic? Darkness? I’m there.

I read a sampler of Lost in The Never Woods before it came out. And while I’m not exactly sure where it was going, it is a Peter Pan retelling… I’m starting to think that just because I LOVEEE PETER PAN doesn’t mean I love Peter Pan retellings? Like, idk. I just haven’t found one that I really vibed with.

Ya’ll House of Salt and Sorrow has been “currently reading” since freakin last Sept. I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS TITLE. It’s not even that I don’t like the book, I do. But goodness it’s so dark and creeps.

I started Go The Distance awhile ago, but I put it down for some reason. I really want to get this read and reviewed before it’s released as it was one of the titles in this series I was MOST excited about!

Happy Easter

I typically celebrate Easter as my “self holiday” since I love stocking up on Easter snacks. But I feel like there really werent that much this year to choose from! I def had a struggle putting a basket together for Tums.

I also put together a basket for B.

B had given us our Easter baskets early; mine is on the left and Tums is on the right. The Cotton Candy in mine is “Blueberry Waffle” and omg it’s amazing. It legit tastes like waffles!

Luckily Tums is too little to understand and all she knows is she just got more candy just for her. We didn’t get big baskets this year because if you can see the sort of hint in the back — we have a big trip coming up! And I’m super duper excited. Still struggling with depression over here but trust me, inside I’m screaming from excitement. I just… need to pack. Which I’m always bad with.

Continue reading “Happy Easter”

Friday Finds

Happy Friday!

I never start a post like that jfc lol.

I told ya’ll I was gonna change the graphic to this weekly feature. Okay anyway.

It’s Good Friday! I’m not in that religion anymore but ironically, I’m not eating meat today. Was it meat? Chicken? I don’t remember. Or was that Lent? Or the whole week? Either way, I get weirdly proud of myself when I accidently don’t eat meat on Good Friday or Easter. You can leave the religion but the religion won’t leave you, and that’s real lol.

I had a super fun Easter-ish weekend planned, including going to a Tulip farm but I realized that 1) I don’t have an outfit I want to wear for it 2) what if it’s cold and 3) I didn’t wanna hear B bitching about how far it is or about gas cost oh wait and 4) my depression doesn’t wanna do jack this weekend.

My mom wrote me a super long letter about basically: I know it’s hard and I know you’re struggling but you need to get your shit straight. But in 3 pages. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that my mom has started writing me letters. They’re usually full of her saying she’s proud of me and I’m doing great. Without verbally saying it cause you know… Asian parents and feelings. Just a word of random advice — clicky keyboards aren’t a good idea if you eat at your desk.

I lost my train of thought…

Easter is one of my favorite self holidays but this year I’m barely celebrating. Didn’t grab any of my traditions or anything. I had that planned for tomorrow but eh, I’m not in the mood.

It’s time to boss up

Fix ya credit, girl get at it

Get ya bag up

Hit that gym and get back fine

Go get that degree, go girl

Unlock potential that you didn’t know you had in youget ya bag up

Yeah ok.

On to the links;

Continue reading “Friday Finds”

Recap 2021 | March

Is it just me or does it feel like March just passed right on by? I remember planning my Middle Grade March TBR and suddenly I have 1 1/2 days until March is over?! How the hell?! I made zero progress with the TBR btw. I mean, I have 2 hours left on the book I’m currently listening to but I have no idea when I’ll be able to go finish it. So. Yeah, the reading was kind of non existent this month.

And it was taken over by… depression! Me and depression have a long and twisted relationship. Before anxiety decided to crash the party, I had figured out a way to take my depression and turn it into art. Writing, singing, graphic design, and even poetry. But since anxiety, that doesn’t happen too often anymore. Now most of the time when depression steps in, I pretty much don’t do anything. And I really hate that type. Where anxiety is crippling and manipulating my thoughts and even sense of sight, here comes useless ass depression. Like bro, at least inspire me to make something? Seeing skips of content just pisses me off when you decide to up and leave for the weekend or some shit. Mothafucker.

At the end of Feb somehow my stuff started to break: first my keyboard (which was my fault, I’ll admit) then my laptop (which was Tums’ fault but honestly, it was bound to happen and of course I tried to avoid it from happening but if you have/had toddlers.. you’d know they just auto break everything they touch. I remember when I was toddler and me and my brother did a LOT OF HIDING my moms shit when we’d do something we KNEW we weren’t suppose to be doing in the house; 99% of the time it involved playing catch). And my iPad randomly decided to stop charging.

My kuya was nice enough to get me a new keyboard (a cool aesthetically pleasing clicky one btw) as an early bday gift and tbh, I’m SO obsessed with it. Like, I just want to type FOREVER. It’s so satisfying! Also, we’ve been friends for 21 years and this is the first time he’s gotten me a gift lmao, just saying. But seriously, this keyboard is the thing of good feelings lol.

My mom replaced my laptop as an early bday gift. It’s cool cause the finger pad doubles as a num pad. It gets confusing when you accidently turn it on (yes you can turn it off and on) but it’s a really cool concept. This one STAYS OUT OF TUMS REACH at all times. Idc if she cries. Throws her shit all off the bed. Whatever. She’s not touching this one lol.

I finally gave in and took my iPad to Geek Squad where they told me that Apple doesn’t usually “repair” your stuff, they just send you a new one. And they don’t really care to even tell you what was wrong with your broken device either. So, yay for getting a replacement but booo for not knowing what was wrong. While I waited for that to come in (they told me 3-5 days but it ended up taking like 3 weeks) I ended up getting the Samsung Galaxy Tab S6 Lite. There are pros and cons to this tablet, imo. But I’m a hardcore Apple fan when it comes to devices and a Windows fan when it comes to computers. The one thing I will say is that the pen for the SGT is a lot lighter than the Apple pen and it kind of throws me off?

I also finally upgraded my iPhone to the iPhone 12, from the iPhone 8. I was super hesitant since the last text message and phone call log from my dad was on my 8. But the dude said I didn’t have to trade in my phone since it was paid off, so whew. I opted OUT of the mini this time for my phone. I didn’t get the one I dub spider eyes, I just got the 12 in the normal size. And the best thing about new iPhones? THAT NEW BATTERY LIFE. So nice. I can actually not keep it on the charger all night! I can play games! I can FaceTime and not deplete my battery! So fun! So amazing! Man I hate this new tech shit.

Continue reading “Recap 2021 | March”

Shop Small Sunday

Today’s shop small is inspired by:

All the Etsy Disney shops I bought products from for my upcoming trip.

I’ve always wanted indie Disney shirts. I don’t know why, I just love how creative people get with their designs esp the text only ones. I’ve also thought of making my own, but I don’t know where people get theirs printed at. Something I’ll have to look into for sure!

On to my purchases;

Continue reading “Shop Small Sunday”