JFC I’m inching closer and closer to 40 and I’m not about it.

I got to finally spend my birthday at Disney World after 4 years of being away. It’s also my ten year anniversary since my first Disney College Program in 2011. So it was super important I was there this year, even though I was missing a few people. But man, to be 26 again would be kind of amazing. I miss all my friends from my first DCP but I don’t miss the marriage drama I was dealing with at the time. Or the strings of bad news that was waiting for me when I got home after.

It’s also the 10 year anniversary that my dad was diagnosed with Cancer (which took his life almost 2 years ago). The 10 year anniversary that my cat Meez was shot by a jackass kid in our neighborhood and passed away before I got home. The 10 year anniversary of my brother getting into an accident that resulted in him getting a blood clot in his brain — extremely thankful he recovered just fine.

And also the 10 year anniversary that a mama cat dropped off her entire liter in our backyard randomly; those kittens changed our family’s life. No joke.

I wrote about turning 35 last year and I honestly feel like I just wrote that blog post. It’s seriously crazy and scary how fast time flies. Even in quarantine I guess. Also super proud I finally got to link my own post, what the heck is that called? Inner linking? Ok no, that’s so far off but something like that.

I’m not going to write 36 things I learned in 36 years because this past year there wasn’t much to reflect on or consider. So that would just be torturing myself for no reason. Instead I’ll do 6 and see where that goes.

6 Things I learned in 36 years;

• You can never feel loneliness and still miss your friends, the two don’t go hand in hand. And hugs from the people who love you are a great way to restore your soul when it feels incredibly broken
• Distance and time don’t change friendships, people do
• Nothing is permanent, sometimes the things you love the most about a place can be gone the next time you’re there — learn to adapt and find new things to love, not wallow in the things lost
• People break promises, even ones made a decade and a half ago; you can be angry, but don’t be bitter. Don’t allow to live in your head rent free and taint your soul
• No matter what I’m growing through; there are people who love and know me and who love me for who they know me as. I am way beyond loved and I hate that I’m now just seeing that. But thank you to the people who never stopped showing me love and empathy
• Your health; mental or otherwise is incredibly important. Our souls can carry the weight of stress, and feeling stuck. Esp during a pandemic. Find things that make you feel more like yourself and take even just 10 mins a day to yourself to sit somewhere quiet and take a break from the day if you need to
• Bonus: Being a SAHM is a lot harder than I thought it was — esp with a very active toddler. Some days I feel like I’m drowning, but on those days she’s also the one who pulls me out, gives me a hug or a pat on the head and reminds me I’m doing an amazing job taking care of her

It’s insane the things you learn and come to realize when you’re 26 then again at 28 and possibly every 2 years in your 30’s. It makes me wonder what am I going to realize when I’m 40? Is there anything left to realize? I’d honestly like to think so since people are constantly yearning for growth and evolving.

So here’s to 36 and to hopefully a lot more adventures!