Happy Easter

I typically celebrate Easter as my “self holiday” since I love stocking up on Easter snacks. But I feel like there really werent that much this year to choose from! I def had a struggle putting a basket together for Tums.

I also put together a basket for B.

B had given us our Easter baskets early; mine is on the left and Tums is on the right. The Cotton Candy in mine is “Blueberry Waffle” and omg it’s amazing. It legit tastes like waffles!

Luckily Tums is too little to understand and all she knows is she just got more candy just for her. We didn’t get big baskets this year because if you can see the sort of hint in the back — we have a big trip coming up! And I’m super duper excited. Still struggling with depression over here but trust me, inside I’m screaming from excitement. I just… need to pack. Which I’m always bad with.

This came up on my FB memories, as it does… every year.

And every time it does, my heart hurts.

Lemme tell you about the worst Easter I ever had;

In 2016 I lived in Lake Mary, FL. My bf at the time’s hometown. My bf who helped me look for an apartment when my lease was ending and suggested I looked at his hometown — he said we’d be close enough to my school (which was one city over), the beach and still close enough to Disney (because I made it a point that I didn’t want to move too far from Orlando). So I ended up finding a really cute apartment and it was, I loved that apartment. He ended up moving in and everything he said we’d do, didn’t happen.

One of my Easter traditions was to spend it in Magic Kingdom, the off chance I was off that day. I had made this known to him wayyy in advanced and he did what he always did — assure me he knew and we were going and he knows. I didn’t have a car, so I couldn’t just go on my own.

The day before Easter, he was on GTA with his friend till like 5/6AM and I knew him being up that late would make him irritated if I woke him up saying we had plans the next day. But at this point I was tired of this shit. It had been almost a year and this happened every single time I mentioned I wanted to go to Disney. But if I said I would Uber and go alone, he would threaten me and say how pissed he would be if I did that.

So I got up early, and headed to the computer like I did when I usually waited. I had gotten dressed and ready and everything. He, once again, didn’t get up until like 2/3-ish. Basically right before he had to head to his grandma’s house. I usually don’t say anything, if I see we’re not going, I just lock myself in the room. But this particular day, I had it. I was tired of feeling trapped at home and in a city where I didn’t have anyone. All my friends lived in Orlando.

So I got upset he had been up all night even after he told me he wasn’t and he promised we’d go to Disney for Easter cause it was a tradition of mine. He got super defensive like he always did but this time he walked over to me, grabbed me my the throat and slammed me on the couch pinning me down screaming “are you done being childish?” every single time I’d get upset about something HE did or a promise HE broke it was always the same you’re being childish. Textbook narcissistic behavior? Yep.

I remember kicking and screaming for him to get the fuck off me and he just kept screaming over and over if I was done being childish. He eventually let me go and had THE AUDACITY to say “if you keep acting like this we aren’t going to last very much longer” and I replied with “put your hands on me like that again and I’ll make sure we don’t.” and he just smirked at me, patted me on the shoulder and said “have a nice day.” and walked out of the house.

I will never. EVER. Forget that smirk and his bullshit statement. He ended up leaving a basket he made me on the counter and I couldn’t even look at it, for days. I just didn’t want to be there anymore.

It wasn’t the last time he ever did it either.

But I did end up leaving him 3 months later.

So yeah, just thought I’d share? Release? I don’t know. Whatever that was. I try to keep Easter a self holiday because of things like this. But now with Tums it tends to get harder.

Either way, I hope you all are having a safe and happy Easter. I’m here playing jelly bean roulette with a bag of 20 Flavors of Jelly Belly and if I get cinnamon one more time, I’m throwing the whole bag away lol.

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