Okay ya’ll, I know by now you probably see a theme in the affirmations I’m picking. I’m struggling through some stuff but I’m working on it. Or well, trying to. Writing has always been my therapy but I don’t feel safe or comfortable writing what I’m trying to get through. Besides, healing is a journey not a destination.
A few good things that happened this week (I have pictures this time)!
Hubs got me crab, a lot of crab and it was amazing. Really really amazing. I also got to get some of my new favorite macarons after getting adjusted! I opted for Salted Caramel (a fav from this place) and tried their new Strawberry which was also good; got hubs Coconut and Bohemian Chocolate which was good. Their Coconut is so good here!
My Filipino flag mask (and ear cuff) came in! Yay! It was kinda pricey (but totally worth it) so I only got one. Hubs got me Elote and Coconut Agua Fresca since I was craving and it’s been awhile. The Agua at this place was Coconut with pecans which was weird. Very weird. And very uncomfortable. I also saw they had Coconut ice pops my mom would make when we’d go to the Philippines! I need to learn how to make my own.
I picked up some stock paper from Michael’s to use as photo backgrounds. It’s working out okay so far. I got 2; a wood looking one and a gold glitter one. I’ll get real backgrounds eventually. They also had a bead sale so I picked up a few of the 1.99 ones like this Sea Glass strand (I LOVE Sea Glass), a Halloween themed strand, Amethyst (that say it’s legit) and Rose Quartz (cause while I have both somewhere, you literally can’t have TOO MUCH of either of them).
Also Tums and Sophie have been bonding. The other day Tums (who LOVES Sophie and always says hi and wants to play) was giving Sophie kisses and Sophie turns around and kisses her arm back. Sophie never kissed anyone but me until Bubba came around! So I’m amazed that she kissed Tums! Then yesterday Tums sat in front of Sophie and literally wrapped her arms around her and pulled her to her for a hug. It was so random and so cute. My heart ya’ll.
So this week I want to manifest;
Believing in myself more. I’ve been putting in a lot of work on my blog(s) and social media account. I’m seeing a ton of growth and making new friends and that’s always exciting! I’m able to think more and more clearly and it’s been so exciting. I have so many blog post ideas but I’m trying to keep it to just 3 posts a week on this blog, sometimes 4 if something personal comes up.
I’ve never thought I was a bad person and I’ve never ever thought I was a bad mom! I’m lucky that with anxiety, postpartumn depression and general depression my mind hasn’t jumped off the you’re an awful mom edge (but it did pre Tums days… weird right). Yet I still let the people who DON’T like me live in my head and thoughts rent free.
I will never understand WHY we can KNOW ourselves so well but the moment SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW YOU says one mean thing suddenly you’re questioning your entire existence? How is that fair? How does that even make sense? And considering that they don’t know you, wouldn’t that just be projecting?
I know who I am, what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve lived through, what I’ve endured and what I’m capable of. I know myself inside and out. There’s nothing about me you can tell me that I don’t already know. I freely air out my downfalls, my toxic traits and my bad habits because honestly I’m proud of all of it. These are the things that build together and make me who I am, why lie? Why be ashamed? If I felt that way I’d fix it. I’m constantly working towards growth and self care as well as self improvement.
Which most people who have something dumb and false to say about don’t do either. Remember that.
The people who hate on other people usually refuse to do inside work on themselves. And if you KNOW you’re a good person; how they feel or what they say about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and how they feel about themselves.
I just wish I could remember this too. I’m working on that.
Not everyone will like me, and that’s okay. I don’t have to spend time and energy wondering why or how can I make them like me. I need to acknowledge those that simply just don’t and move on and away from that space and energy. And that too is completely okay.
How do you deal when someone says something about you despite you trying to be kind to them?