Things I learned in 2019

It’s crazy how this year is coming to a close; I feel like time just passes faster the older you get. And even a slight bit faster when you have kids. I swear Tums was just born 4 months ago and not 9.

2019 was one of the worst years I’ve had in a very very long time. Dare I say it was just as bad if not worse than 2014? Cause it sure as hell felt like it — not to mention I also had to get on meds this year. That’s how rough it was.

This year I learned;

• Being induced for labor really isn’t that awful.
• Some people won’t respect your boundaries or wishes no matter how much you ask as long as they think they’re doing what’s right (for them).
• Child birth wasn’t as terrifying as I made it up to be my entire life.
• Newborns sleep A LOT.
• Postpartum depression is real and scary.
• Some people won’t believe you when you’re screaming for help. Or even when you flat out ask for it.
• Some people, despite their support, are truly uncomfortable with mental health issues.
• Motherhood can be a very lonely place, especially when you’re trying to cope with postpartum depression alone.
• I learned that maybe I don’t really hate kids.
• I learned that I have too much stuff.
• That time management is huge when you have a baby.
• That being a stay at home mom is exhausting and some days you literally have zero time for yourself despite being home all day.
• That people you think you can trust could have been shit talking you for years because you’re different from them.
• That family is exactly how you always thought it was — but worse.
• That my parents were honestly not that bad compared to some people.
• That creating a financial safety net is 100% needed.
• That babies really don’t cost as much as everyone worries they do. Seriously. I spend more money on cleaning supplies weekly than baby needs.
• The most unlikely people will be willing to help you if you ask.
• That my dad loved my daughter completely.
• That people can be taken away from you in an instant.
• That everyone — EVERYONE — has secrets.
• That losing a parent is one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced in my entire life.
• That people will always be who they are and you won’t know it until a major life change.
• That it’s okay to be me, 100%. Because the people who don’t understand never will and that’s their loss.
• That babies will get sick no matter how hard you try to make sure they won’t.

This year has been utterly completely rough and the second to last day of the year and I still don’t know how to cope with certain things… it’s just crazy.

Support is so important and learning to ignore and stay away from those that don’t support you is also really important.

Here’s to hoping 2020 will be brighter, better and to more healing ✨.