Shop Small Sunday

I’m one of those people who LOVE to scroll through Etsy. I always have been! In fact my wedding favors from my first marriage were from Etsy! I had so much fun sampling different products and working with various different Etsy sellers. That really made my Etsy experience super memorable! I love the idea that if you’re good at creating something, you can make a business out of it. Like honestly, how cool is that idea?! It’s definitely easier now than it was in 2009, that’s for sure!

I’m constantly finding really cool shops and places I swear by! So I figured I’d start this mini weekly feature to share some of those links. This won’t be an every week kind of feature but an every now and then. Even though I’ve bookmarked enough shops to keep this feature going for possibly a year. Or 5. My bookmark list is insane. I’ve had my account since 2008, so you know. That’s A LOT of shops lol.

I also opened my own Etsy shop for stock photos but tbh, I haven’t worked on it since I opened it. I spent years trying to plan the perfect Etsy shop and out of nowhere one night I was like: eff this I’m starting one. So now I have to commit lmao. The first shop I wanted to open was a wax melt shop back in 2014 but it never happened because it was “never the right time” or I was “never ready”. So. It never happened and I just now decided to come back to that idea.

I’m opening that damn shop in 2021, I swear.

Right now I’m really into illustration — so a lot of the shops I’ve been bookmarking have to do with illustration or clip art, stickers or those really cute pins. Did I decide to learn to draw in 2021 to join the movement? Yes. Why lie lol. Another kind of shop I look for a lot are ones that make anything Filipino inspired. I miss being close to my culture and my family, so I’m obsessed with all things Filipino plus I have a kid to teach now.

If some of these links/themes aren’t your cup of wine that’s totally fine, I won’t be offended. Promise.

On to some of my favs of the week;

Continue reading “Shop Small Sunday”

3 Ways To Protect Your Energy

For this weeks Monday Mindful Manifestation I wrote about how people with toxic energy can impact your own energy. Protecting your energy is incredibly important, especially now with how much negativity is floating around. The world is in a weird place and it’s bringing out the worst in some people. Today in Texas isn’t a very good day. We’re still in freezing temps and a lot of us don’t have power or water. I’m doing my best to keep all of the devices charged and put fresh batteries in Tums’ night lights. And of course I have candles to light up the whole dang apt if I needed to. So I’m trying my best to keep things that make me happy close by.

Here’s 3 ways I protect my energy;

| Surround yourself with things that lift your spirits

For me it’s a favorite candle or wax melt lit around me while I read and a cup of iced coffee. It’s music that makes me feel good. It’s sight, sense, smell and hearing of all things that make me happy. It’s walking around Target by myself. It’s taking myself to eat at my favorite place. It’s stepping into a book store. I’m attracted to books, pretty colors and cute pastries. I know that sounds super simple.

But find the “super simple” things that bring you joy and spend time there when you feel like you need to re-balance yourself.

| Do one thing that puts you in a meditative state

I took up adult coloring books a few years ago and didn’t realize it could be used as a form of meditation, but I did have a lot of fun with it and I loved how all my pages ended up. I’m not sure why I stopped.

But I did discover there were adult coloring book apps! And that’s been super fun. I’ve been working on shading and lighting with it. I love that they offer different brush textures without actually physically having them. And watercolor is definitely less messy lol.

Another thing I do is play video games; I loveeee gathering and crafting in any game. I’m so use to knowing where my mats (materials) are on the FFXIV map that I use very little thinking power to get through gathering then back to my house in game and craft. I usually put on music and it’s just a super relaxing process for me. I enjoy it so much and I feel much better after awhile (plus making money on an MMORPG is never a waste of time lol).

Same with Animal Crossing New Horizon; the fact we can now gather and craft is THE BEST THING to me. But also pulling out weeds or fishing. I LOVE fishing on video games as well.

I’ve lost my touch on actually meditating and it’s pretty hard to get back into when you don’t live alone anymore and there’s a toddler running around. So I’ve had to find other ways to meditate that makes it look like mommy’s freakin busy ok?

But this can literally be anything to anyone; cleaning, lifting, running, find the thing that helps you.

| Call up a friend who makes you feel like your soul just hit refresh

My person is my brother ThisWae or Sean, as I know him. There’s just something about being around him and his energy that makes me feel like my energy just hit refresh. And people can say what they want about him/how he appears but this dude seriously has helped me through so much; from encouraging me to learn to meditate, constantly encouraging me to get up and work, for reminding me that he thinks I’m dope af every time I feel like the world doesn’t need me. And he’s suggested books and podcasts and all kinds of things to help me with my mental health. Oh, and he’s always ready to get up in someone’s face the second they say anything bad about me.

I also have my girls, who are always there to make me laugh and let me vent until I’m out of air if I needed to.

But if you don’t have people like that in your life (cause I’ve been there too); if you have a favorite streamer or youtuber whos content puts your in a better mood or a tv show, that also is a helpful boost.

I’ve even gone as far as going through the people I follow on social media and made sure my feed is one that bursts with creativity and positivity. Even making little changes like that make a difference.

| Stick to your boundaries

Bonus, and the most important one.

When it comes to your space and your energy, it’s important to keep your boundaries. I know this can be hard because sometimes eliminating the people who feel toxic and make you feel drained and foggy may be family members. And you may want to stay out of drama; but being around people who feel like they suck the energy out of you isn’t good either. All it does is build irritation and resentment, especially if you’re aware.

Boundaries are especially important now during this pandemic since it’s becoming clear who takes covid seriously and who doesn’t. Who has you and your family’s best interest at heart and who doesn’t. It’s not worth risking the health of you and your family to “keep peace”.

YOU are YOUR first priority; cause at the end of the day, at the end of this life, it’s just going to be you, your thoughts and the choices you made. No one is going to be with you six feet under buried with you.

So make sure that this life, the only life we get, is as clear of negativity as much as possible.

Friday Finds

If you’ve scrolled through the news lately you’ve probably seen the shit show that Texas is right now with the cold front and snow. I’ve pretty much been stuck at home since the day before Valentine’s Day. It snowed all day Valentine’s Day which is weird since Texas doesn’t really get snow and the Dallas area def doesn’t. And absolutely not all day. A few people I know lost power for over 3 days and it sucks that there’s no way to help since every other Texan thinks it’s a cool idea of wipe out the shelves. So there wasn’t any food, water or wood or anything. Nothing. Texas was not at all prepared for this and the people had to suffer.

Luckily today the sun is out and it sounds like the snow is starting to melt. I’m thankful since they were saying last night we were suppose to have another hard freeze warning.

Man I’m ready for SPRING SPRING, hell even Summer.

Being stuck at home really made me think about food. I want to be better prepared; LoveFood lists 50 Favorite Comfort Foods a few of these will be making their way on to my next grocery run.

MediaFeed is dropping some Year of The Ox knowledge; yes I believe in this stuff! And I have super high hopes for this year!

MediaFeed is also dropping how to know the difference between a W2 and a 1099; As a review blogger I had to file my first 1099 n 2017. I had no freakin idea what that was. But it’s not as hard as you’d think. I kinda thought it was easier than filing a W2 for sure.

I’m a sucker for new/seasonal snack flavors. Or well, food flavors. This year Dove is doing Lemon Meringue chocolates and I am HERE for it!

Aldi snacks have been flooding Instagram, or maybe it’s just my feeds, idk. But they’ve really stepped their snack game up! I’m going to hunt my ass off for these pudding cups as soon as I can get out of this dang house!

I was hoping to find more Spring themed or Easter themed articles. But maybe it’s still too early? I mean, then again, there’s still snow on my balcony… so I guess there’s still time lol.

Did you find anything interesting this month? Share it below!

Monday Mindful Manifestation

Yes this is my actual handwriting lol

It’s 7* here and MSN weather says it feels like -3* even UberEats isn’t delivering.

I read a post from Alex Tubio on Instagram, and it really made me think about my own life, my own journey and my own need for self reflection. It’s no secret that I’m unhappy here, but there’s really nothing I can do at the moment. Not with Covid, not with what the “new normal” is becoming.

And I’m partly mad at myself for waiting. For not going where my soul tells me I need to go, and now, I feel like I can’t. That the places that make my soul sing and play are so much farther, so much more out of reach. And often wake up feeling so trapped and hopeless and alone.

However I also know that I can make this less depressing than it has to be; shifting your perspective can change a lot, I should know, I’ve had to do it once or twice to save my own sanity. Is it easy? FUCK. HELL. NO. Is it worth it? HELL YES. Especially when you’re out of idea’s.

What most people don’t know though is that your environment plays a HUGE part of your well being and mental health. I’ve been around people so toxic before that I was constantly physically sick. And the moment I got away, I never got sick. It was the weirdest shit I ever had to learn first hand. And ironically it’s the toxic ones who won’t believe that’s true, or who will tell me I’m “wrong” for keeping my circle small and close. Or that I don’t invite who THEY want into MY energy.

Sorry, but my energy is mine, and I will never let someone ever make me feel bad for kicking someone out of my space that I find toxic. And esp since I have a small child to take care of?

We want to raise our children in a childhood they don’t have to recover from.

April Athena

My trauma is mine; it’s something I have to work through. It’s things I can’t blame my mom for anymore, she raised me the best way she thought she could, but she had her own struggles that she kept from us. Things she had to fight alone and I now know what that feels like. I think of that every time I feel myself slip into my mom and get so angry I want to blame Tums. But it’s not her fault. And I need to remember the things my mom endured and sacrificed in order to give me and Tums the life she’s giving us.

So this week I’m going to dive back into Linkin Park, Eminem, the things that made my soul feel heard. I’m going to bug the ever living hell out of my brother Sean because his energy for some reason feels like I’m hitting refresh on my own, and I will forever love him for that. I’m going to make active plans to be healthier, to be better, to be kinder to myself, and work on shifting my perspective.

Ya’ll my head is hurting just thinking of it, cause at least for me, it gets really heavy and hard. I’m so fuckin stubborn and no one knows just HOW MUCH I am except me and my mom. And my dad when he was here. But I want 2021 to be different. I want to be in a different space a year from now.

What’s something you want to work on or manifest this week?

Happy Lunar New Year

This was originally suppose to go with my MMM post this week but no matter how I wrote it, or edited it, I just wasn’t happy with it. So there wasn’t an MMM post this week.

But it’s still Lunar New Year and I still want to post about it! We’re suppose to go see the Dragon Dance this weekend but it’s looking like a low of 12 degree’s this weekend. And a low of ONE FREAKIN DEGREE on Monday. I’m a Floridian ya’ll. And a Californian before that. HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THIS SHIT. I’m literally scared. As someone who has anemia and eczema that’s triggered by cold — I’m going to wrap myself in hella fleece blankets constantly applying the thickest hand cream I have. ALL DAY. Otherwise ya girl is gonna get wrecked.

For as long as I can remember my mom has always celebrated Chinese New Year by giving us red envelopes and scattering symbols of luck around the house. I have my own “good luck” decor that I admit I haven’t put up yet! I keep saying I’ll organize my desk and I just… haven’t. I mean, I have, but I haven’t the way I want to. It’s so overwhelming! And just by doing that small thing every year, it ended up being something I looked forward to and something I want to keep going in my life and in Tums.

Last year I had planned to spend it at Disneyland since they do a thing for it over there; but B was set on us leaving Tums here with his parents while we went and being in the midst of postpartum depression there was no fuckin way I was going to leave her so I ended up just cancelling the trip. I really wish they’d crash course people on PPD when you’re doing all that hospital tour shit. This year Disneyland is closed.

I do go to a celebration in GP where they have food and a Dragon Dance, but because of Covid, I’m not sure what it’s going to be like this year. That and the weather is ridic at 12* not to mention Texans act like they can’t drive in the cold and there’s been accidents everywhere. There was a 100 car pile up this week. Like, really, how. And it wasn’t even snowing, but it was sleet I guess? I think that’s what B had said.

Last year I also celebrated by grabbing a new CNY themed products from MAC and Sugarfina, thankfully Colourpop’s Mulan collection shipped before then as well; this year MAC came out with the same products but different packaging. I had hoped for something with an Ox on it. So instead this year I got something from Colourpop’s collection and of course Sugarfina.

The year of the Ox is my year, so I’m a bit bat shit crazy this year about it.

Friday Finds

Welcome to the first Friday of February.

Am I the only one who hates writing that word out lol. I said I was going to change this graphic didn’t I. Man, when was the last FF I did?! I hope Feb (this is what it is now) is treating you well so far and that hopefully the weather where you’re at is getting warmer! We’ll be celebrating Lunar New Year tomorrow and it’s one of the things I look forward to in Texas!

Valentine’s Day is also just around the corner. It’s my favorite self holiday. Maybe I’ll blog about why and what that means! But I just love the vibe that surrounds this holiday and the bright reds and pinks! And following that is Easter! Also another favorite self holiday! Even though it takes over my birthday every 5-8 years. I literally just skipped my daughters birthday, whoops. But that’s in there as well. She’ll be 2. Where does time GO?!

On to the links;

| Deandra over at TBPD talked about The Hate You Give. I haven’t seen the movie yet or read the book but I know it’s a big title/series in the book community!

| Redbook lists 11 Traditional Lunar New Year foods to eat; ironically I’m not Chinese though some Filipino’s will argue we’re all part Chinese. But my mom always made a point to celebrate Lunar New Year for as long as I can remember. Every year she’d give us red envelopes and decorate the house with symbols of good fortune and prosperity. It’s something I looked forward to, and it’s something I hope I can have Tums grow up with as well.

| With Spring on the way I definitely need to keep this in mind; 7 Air Purifying Plants! I had an Aloe Vera plant once… it died. I need to do better lol.

| SheKnows compiled a list of Unique Valentine’s Day Gifts on Etsy; I’ve been on such a big Etsy kick lately with buying digital planner stuff, clip art and brushes for Procreate! Plus, it’s always a good feeling to help a small business!

| ICYMI I posted My Feb Goals earlier this week! Let me know what are some things you want to accomplish this month.

| Kayleigh at Kayleigh Zara shares tips on Manifestation Techniques; something that I should definitely prioritize in 2021!

What are some interesting links you’ve stumbled on this week?

Hello February

This post is going up later than I had wanted it to; I think Tums has hit her terrible 2’s officially cause homegirl is acting like everything is worthy of a meltdown. Some even get several meltdown’s. Her and her dad haven’t been going to his mom’s house once a week like they usually do to give me “my day” because his family caught Covid so they won’t be over there for another few weeks. Or months. Whichever.

January felt both super long and kinda short.

There’s a ton of new releases this month I’m anxiously looking forward to. There’s also Lunar New Year coming up as well as my favorite holiday: Valentine’s Day. I don’t have any VDay tradition anymore… hard to have traditions in Texas honestly. Maybe it’ll be easier when Tums is older.

I spent yesterday working on my Twitch channel. I have to set up my capture card and Switch so I can stream Animal Crossing. But I miss streaming; hopefully a screaming toddler in the background won’t be too much of a problem lol.

I don’t have very many goals this month since I’m trying to be a bit more realistic about them in 2021;

| Start streaming set up

This falls under clean your damn desk as well. Cause right now, it’s a whole hot mess. I need to set up the capture card, the switch, the webcam and the mic. And find somewhere for this Wacom tablet that I use but don’t use. That I don’t really use but would really like to start using, pretty much. I love using Procreate more but it doesn’t hurt to learn how to use 2 different tools.

OFF TOPIC.

So yeah, tidy/clean desk and set that shit up. Like, this week. Like today. Or tomorrow. Or now.

| Tidy books

I don’t have bookshelves just yet. This seems to be an ongoing issue in my life. But I do have those IKEA shelves I had in the last room that acted like bookshelves. Do they hold all my books? Hell no. But I at least had them somewhat themed in the last room whereas in this room… I don’t even know WHAT is going on with them tbh. But whatever it is, it needs to stop. I also need to let some of these books go.

| Tidy office closet

FOR THE LOVE OF. It’s literally a straight up storage closet. I had originally planned to put some of Tums outside/off season clothing in there and obviously some office stuff. Maybe the printer just so it’s not in the way… but as of right now there’s no space on any of the built in shelves for anything. I need to consolidate of the boxes in there as well since they ALL just have clothes. There’s also a few baby baby things and some toys Tums doesn’t even play with anymore I need to get rid of. I get buying kids toys but I also… don’t? Like they don’t really play with all of them. And it really just ends up taking so much space + it’s just more shit for ME to pick up since I’m the one cleaning the most.

| It doesn’t spark joy? It’s gotta go

This has been a never ending goal of mine. To get rid of things that don’t spark joy. But I’m SO AWFUL with letting things go. I’m seriously the worst and every moving season I’m reminded of why am I like dis. But I really want an apartment that reflects that I’m you know, an adult. At least find a home for half this shit. Except the books. Cause again, no bookshelves.

Just thinking about this one is giving me anxiety. Ahh.

| Manage spending, for the love of… is there a finance god?

I read somewhere that some people are madd shopping online since the lockdown’s started happening cause it gives us SOMETHING to look forward to. And you know what, I felt that in my soul. But just because I feel things in my soul doesn’t mean I have to keep doing them. Not to mention Tums bday is coming up and so is mine so if I have any plans to get my shit together N O W would be an awesome time to start.

I need to reevaluate all my subscriptions as well cause shit is nuts. But what’s with all these apps that make you pay to use them? Like I get that I’m too lazy to open Photoshop up sometimes but goddamn. I’m not that lazy to pay $20 for a photo editing app?!

| Prep Easter posts

I always plan to be ahead of the seasonal game and sometimes I manage to do well. Other times, I’m finding, since being a mom, I don’t do as well. I have zero idea’s for Valentine’s Day themed posts for this year and I’m just gonna roll with that. I’m not gonna stress about it. If something hits me, cool. If not, cool too.

Easter however is slowly turning from my holiday to Tums’ holiday. This year she’s big enough to run around and find things. She’s also old enough to identify things. So thinking of covid friendly idea’s is def going to be something I’d like to write about. If not here, then on my motherhood blog!

| SKILLSHARE BITCH

Anyone else cuss at themselves to let themselves know they mean business? It’s like that line from Rap God by Eminem:

Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself ’cause I make me do
What I put my mind to

I found 2 months free of Skill Share in Dec? Jan? I don’t remember. Point is, the 2 moths are almost up if not already up. I have a bunch of classes bookmarked like Illustration, SEO, water coloring. There’s so many different classes to take! I really want to brush up on my SEO/social media stuff since it’s been awhile since I’ve really paid attention to it and basically this is how certifications become useless lol. So let’s not do that. I also want to learn illustration. They also have yoga classes, self improvement, manifestation, just a ton of other really cool subjects to choose from. And with this resource at my fingertips why not use it? Like no, seriously.

If you want to take a look at what all they offer here’s my code for 14 days free. No this isn’t sponsored but it’s 2021 and we’re in a pandemic, what do you have to lose?

What’s something you’d want to learn this month or this year?

January Bookish Wrap Up

Number of Books Read: 8

I always seem to do really well with my reading challenge in January. It’s like, yes. A brand new start. So excited. So inspired! So I’m not even going to say how happy/excited I am because who knows what’ll happen next month lol.

| City of Ghosts by Victoria Schawb

Okay, this book took me by surprise. I LOVE Middle Grade books because I always feel like they pack such a hard punch when they have some sort of meaning or lesson attached. And when you’re really not in the mood for a romantic element in a book, MG is the way to go.

I had put this down when it was first released because I was being a wimp and getting scared. Yo, there’s nothing SCARY about this book. Every element that is suppose to be creepy, I mean is, but I found it all to be so much more fascinating. I wanted to know more about Cassy and why she can do what she does. And how does it all work. And I’m still trying to figure out if her parents actually see/believe in ghosts…. or? I had thought to binge this series but the last book doesn’t come out until I think March. And yes, I pre-ordered the OwlCrate exclusive! Even though I don’t own the other 2 in physical form but that is OKAY.

There’s just so much I could gush about when it comes to this book but I linked my review instead!

| The Prince and the Troll by Rainbow Rowell

Unpopular opinion but… for some reason it bothers me when there’s real life things in books or tv shows. By “real life things” I mean brand name things. I don’t know if I’ll formally review t’his book or series because it just keeps getting worse with each book. I was a bit disappointed with this one because Rainbow Rowell, hello! And because for literally the entire book up until the last 2 pages, NOTHING MAKES SENSE. The ending itself didn’t make sense either. NOTHING. MADE. SENSE. OMG.

The ending was equivalent to when you’re in bed with someone and you’re really close to an orgasm and they’re like “yeah no, let’s switch” and you’re left feeling super confused, a little angry and totally unsatisfied. I literally can’t think of another example to explain how this book made me feel.

| Unmade by Sarah Rees Brennan

I DID IT. AFTER LIKE 8 YEARS I FINALLY FINISHED THE SERIES. Because my stubborn ass just couldn’t cope with the fact I’d have to say goodbye to Kami, Ash and JARED. So I figured if I held off on this book, they could (somehow) live forever… floating around somewhere in my mind. I have no idea ok. But I just wasn’t ready.

And it turns out, you shouldn’t wait that look to finish a series you loved. Because 1) your tastes in genres/book may have changed 2) you’ll probably forget what the heck even happened in the prior books and 3) SOMETHING SO TRAGIC COULD HAPPEN THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE. I took like a week off after reading a particular part that just… HOW COULD YOU SARAH, SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

I also found myself rooting for Ash. Which… was weird. Also, I have questions. How did people not like over throw Rob? Just for like fun? I haven’t written a review for this yet but I think it might be time to.

| The Haunting of Beatrix Greene by Rachel Hawkins

Ya’ll I don’t know what was happening here but can you say ~ sexual tension ~? I really need to read the rest of this mini series thing they’re doing. Also, a part of this book creeped me out more than any part in City of Ghosts did.

| Hazel and Gray by Nic Stone

Guys, I literally don’t even want to talk about how disappointing this book was.

| The Princess Games by Soman Chainani

At this point I’m ready to just DNF the rest of the series. Idc if I just wanted to get to the last book. The thing is, these don’t even have an order. They all read like solo book because NONE OF THE DAMN THEMES MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE.

THIS. BOOK. WAS. WTF. LEGIT IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

My review of this book: JUST NO.

| Kawaii Kitties

This is the second art book I’ve requested from NetGalley and they’ve both been super cute, super helpful and super easy to understand. I did pre-order this because I need it in my collection that is just now starting. With this book.

| Love, Almost by Hayley Doyle

I have mixed feelings about this book; on one hand I remember when I was 5 months in with my ex husband. He proposed somewhere in there at Disneyland and I remember feeling like this is my forever and I mean he was, until we were 30. I remember that the thought of him dying legit killed me inside. It was a fear we both had of each other. Last I talked to him years ago he said he still checks my social media to make sure I’m still alive. Not sure if he still does but I gotta admit hearing that put me off and kinda irritated me.

Learning to live without someone that you feel like your life JUST began with can be just as heartbreaking as living a whole lifetime with them. While my ex husband didn’t die, the him I knew and loved did. And sometimes it’s still hard for me to remember I don’t know who he is now, and he doesn’t know who I am. It’s hard to remember that I have memories he wasn’t there for. It’s such a incomplete feeling almost. This book definitely triggered those memories for me.

BEST READ: City of Ghosts

LEAST FAV READ: Hazel and Gray // The Princess Games

What was your favorite read of January or what are you looking forward to reading in next month?

Monday Mindful Manifestation

I’m sleepy; well not sleepy but kinda drained. Woke up yesterday sneezing like crazy (and for the rest of the day) and feeling sick. I had a huge cry fest the day before so I figured maybe it was just a side effect of that. I took NyQuil last night anyway, just in case. And I feel a lot better today, just… drained.

This weekend has been a bit of an eye opening experience and I had thought to move this blog to a self hosted place but seeing how hard I worked on it so far and how far it’s come, I just couldn’t. I will link this new blog I did set up anyway, but I think it’ll house more of my harder mental health things.

2021 is about courage, right?

So let’s talk Shadow Work.

If you’re unfamiliar with what that is, I included a link where you can read about it. Author gets extra points for going on a mini rant about Darth Vader (Anakin, I still hate you). I haven’t done much talking about Paganism here… or really anywhere. Despite it being almost 20 years since. I guess I’m still… I don’t know. The space I’m in now, I don’t feel like I’m free to 100% be myself. I feel like if I step out of this box that I’m put in of “who I am” (or who they think I am), they accuse me of not being myself. As if someone else can tell you who YOU are. These, btw are the people who need to do shadow work. Or get therapy. Definitely get help.

I love things that make me think about my soul, does that sound weird? Like things that bring triggers to my attention without triggering me. Okay that made less sense. Just, roll with me here. I came across an article this morning that made me think about things. Obviously when someone gives birth, a lot of things in your body changes. However with me it wasn’t JUST my body that changed, it was pretty much my spirit too. I don’t know how to explain it without going into a whole rampage about it.

Point is, this weekend made me think about a few things and a few other things I need to address with myself and find solutions to. Shadow Work is something I’ve always known I’d have to face eventually but just never wanted to willingly go there. If it came up, ok. But to actually willingly dive into things? I’m getting drained just thinking about it.

But the thing about being around people who aren’t like me is the constant reminder that I’m not like them. I don’t go around destroying other people to make myself feel better. And why? Because I’m insane about self reflection. I can tell you every single one of my flaws proudly because they make me who I am. I can tell you my strengths because they too make me who I am. I can tell you why I do/respond the way I do. I’m as transparent as tracing paper and yes, that’s not an easy combo when you’re also sensitive af but I’d honestly rather be sensitive and transparent and get hurt than be a whole soul of bad juju that goes around getting a kick out of hurting other people. Cause that’s not ok. That’s not what family does. At fuckin all.

So in this week, moment, month, year — whatever — of newly found self reflection and shadow work; I need to remember that even though it’ll bring back a lot of dark and bad memories that I will be okay. I have an amazingly strong support system that is always right behind me.

And beyond that, I’m from the hood. I can handle anything.

Book Review | City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab

*This post contains affiliate links

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schawb
Cassidy Blake #1
Release Date: August 28th 2018 by Scholastic
Genre: Middle Grade > Historical Fiction > Ghosts
Source: Bought
Format: Ebook
Summary:

Cassidy Blake’s parents are The Inspecters, a (somewhat inept) ghost-hunting team. But Cass herself can REALLY see ghosts. In fact, her best friend, Jacob, just happens to be one.

When The Inspecters head to ultra-haunted Edinburgh, Scotland, for their new TV show, Cass—and Jacob—come along. In Scotland, Cass is surrounded by ghosts, not all of them friendly. Then she meets Lara, a girl who can also see the dead. But Lara tells Cassidy that as an In-betweener, their job is to send ghosts permanently beyond the Veil. Cass isn’t sure about her new mission, but she does know the sinister Red Raven haunting the city doesn’t belong in her world. Cassidy’s powers will draw her into an epic fight that stretches through the worlds of the living and the dead, in order to save herself.

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I’ve had Victoria’s titles on my TBR for wayyyyy too long and I JUST now read her work. And I get what the hype is. This book sucked me in big time. I ended up doing the audio book and I don’t regret it at all. I may just do the rest of the series in audio!

The concept of this book was so interesting. I had stopped reading it when I first picked it up cause I’m a wimp and it sounded like it was getting scary. But it’s really not. It’s so freakin interesting. Cass can see ghosts, something about almost dying and being saved BY a ghost saved her life. And because of that save her best friend who never leaves her side is well, a ghost. Named Jacob. How that works is beyond me.

Cass’s parents do things that have to do with the paranormal world. I couldn’t figure out if they really COULD see ghosts or if they really did believe in them? Either way their jobs take them to Scotland and I had no idea Scotland was so… haunted. A lot of weird stuff happens there, but a lot of interesting things as well.

It was a peak into historical fiction, going from what was now to what was then and it was so cool to see the author bind the two together. The concept of what Cass is was also fascinating, the theory is ghosts have a ton of reasons of why they stay behind, and the idea of sending them to the other world is also pretty sad.

I absolutely loved the idea that each ghost who was left behind lived in a constant loop of their last moments or why they’re kept here. As a kid I had a ton of questions about ghosts and the afterlife that I would ask my grandfather. I always wondered if they lived in an eternal loop of their lives or a certain part of their lives. To see that on paper in a book was… I don’t know, refreshing? As a kid people tell you your idea’s or theories are silly or don’t make sense. But honestly some of them have stayed with me my whole life.

I wish we got to know a bit more about Jacob as well. Where is he from? How did he get there? How old is he? I’m really hoping we get to know him more in the next book.

I love a book that makes me question my mortality!