I have a trip to pack and prep for so I thought I’d pop a reading post up today instead. I’m super excited for various reasons but one of the biggest reasons is I finally get to see my BFF! I haven’t seen her since 2008; we both tend to chase too many dreams and despite what state I’m in or what country she’s in, we’ve always tried our best to check in with each other. So when people say “distance” is why “X has happened” I think it’s crap. But maybe it’s just me.
This is also the first time she’s meeting Tums (who’s her goddaughter) and the first time Tums is meeting someone from my life that she might remember (she met my friend Eric when she was like 7mo’s, so). Yes, she’s 2 and hasn’t met anyone from my life. I know, it bothers me too.
I just realized I never finished this blog post rfom this morning. Omg.
Yes, I’m still listening to Bridge of Souls but I only have like an hour or so left in the audiobook. Annnd I’m not really sure how I feel about it in comparison to the previous two in the series.
I also started The Archive but it’s super confusing I guess because “Da” is probably her grandfather? I thought it was her dad so I got super confused. The concept of this book has always intrigued me and it’s definitely been on my TBR for way too long. Since I’m nearing the end of the MG series I figured I’d pick this one up.
I read a review of The Stolen Kingdom that really bumped this up on my TBR. I’m not regretting any of it. Plus it’s a NetGalley title and we all know how it is with those lol.
Hoping to Read;
Down Comes The Night: Magic? Darkness? I’m there.
I read a sampler of Lost in The Never Woods before it came out. And while I’m not exactly sure where it was going, it is a Peter Pan retelling… I’m starting to think that just because I LOVEEE PETER PAN doesn’t mean I love Peter Pan retellings? Like, idk. I just haven’t found one that I really vibed with.
Ya’ll House of Salt and Sorrow has been “currently reading” since freakin last Sept. I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS TITLE. It’s not even that I don’t like the book, I do. But goodness it’s so dark and creeps.
I started Go The Distance awhile ago, but I put it down for some reason. I really want to get this read and reviewed before it’s released as it was one of the titles in this series I was MOST excited about!
I typically celebrate Easter as my “self holiday” since I love stocking up on Easter snacks. But I feel like there really werent that much this year to choose from! I def had a struggle putting a basket together for Tums.
I also put together a basket for B.
B had given us our Easter baskets early; mine is on the left and Tums is on the right. The Cotton Candy in mine is “Blueberry Waffle” and omg it’s amazing. It legit tastes like waffles!
Luckily Tums is too little to understand and all she knows is she just got more candy just for her. We didn’t get big baskets this year because if you can see the sort of hint in the back — we have a big trip coming up! And I’m super duper excited. Still struggling with depression over here but trust me, inside I’m screaming from excitement. I just… need to pack. Which I’m always bad with.
I told ya’ll I was gonna change the graphic to this weekly feature. Okay anyway.
It’s Good Friday! I’m not in that religion anymore but ironically, I’m not eating meat today. Was it meat? Chicken? I don’t remember. Or was that Lent? Or the whole week? Either way, I get weirdly proud of myself when I accidently don’t eat meat on Good Friday or Easter. You can leave the religion but the religion won’t leave you, and that’s real lol.
I had a super fun Easter-ish weekend planned, including going to a Tulip farm but I realized that 1) I don’t have an outfit I want to wear for it 2) what if it’s cold and 3) I didn’t wanna hear B bitching about how far it is or about gas cost oh wait and 4) my depression doesn’t wanna do jack this weekend.
My mom wrote me a super long letter about basically: I know it’s hard and I know you’re struggling but you need to get your shit straight. But in 3 pages. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that my mom has started writing me letters. They’re usually full of her saying she’s proud of me and I’m doing great. Without verbally saying it cause you know… Asian parents and feelings. Just a word of random advice — clicky keyboards aren’t a good idea if you eat at your desk.
I lost my train of thought…
Easter is one of my favorite self holidays but this year I’m barely celebrating. Didn’t grab any of my traditions or anything. I had that planned for tomorrow but eh, I’m not in the mood.
It’s time to boss up
Fix ya credit, girl get at it
Get ya bag up
Hit that gym and get back fine
Go get that degree, go girl
Unlock potential that you didn’t know you had in youget ya bag up
Is it just me or does it feel like March just passed right on by? I remember planning my Middle Grade March TBR and suddenly I have 1 1/2 days until March is over?! How the hell?! I made zero progress with the TBR btw. I mean, I have 2 hours left on the book I’m currently listening to but I have no idea when I’ll be able to go finish it. So. Yeah, the reading was kind of non existent this month.
And it was taken over by… depression! Me and depression have a long and twisted relationship. Before anxiety decided to crash the party, I had figured out a way to take my depression and turn it into art. Writing, singing, graphic design, and even poetry. But since anxiety, that doesn’t happen too often anymore. Now most of the time when depression steps in, I pretty much don’t do anything. And I really hate that type. Where anxiety is crippling and manipulating my thoughts and even sense of sight, here comes useless ass depression. Like bro, at least inspire me to make something? Seeing skips of content just pisses me off when you decide to up and leave for the weekend or some shit. Mothafucker.
At the end of Feb somehow my stuff started to break: first my keyboard (which was my fault, I’ll admit) then my laptop (which was Tums’ fault but honestly, it was bound to happen and of course I tried to avoid it from happening but if you have/had toddlers.. you’d know they just auto break everything they touch. I remember when I was toddler and me and my brother did a LOT OF HIDING my moms shit when we’d do something we KNEW we weren’t suppose to be doing in the house; 99% of the time it involved playing catch). And my iPad randomly decided to stop charging.
My kuya was nice enough to get me a new keyboard (a cool aesthetically pleasing clicky one btw) as an early bday gift and tbh, I’m SO obsessed with it. Like, I just want to type FOREVER. It’s so satisfying! Also, we’ve been friends for 21 years and this is the first time he’s gotten me a gift lmao, just saying. But seriously, this keyboard is the thing of good feelings lol.
My mom replaced my laptop as an early bday gift. It’s cool cause the finger pad doubles as a num pad. It gets confusing when you accidently turn it on (yes you can turn it off and on) but it’s a really cool concept. This one STAYS OUT OF TUMS REACH at all times. Idc if she cries. Throws her shit all off the bed. Whatever. She’s not touching this one lol.
I finally gave in and took my iPad to Geek Squad where they told me that Apple doesn’t usually “repair” your stuff, they just send you a new one. And they don’t really care to even tell you what was wrong with your broken device either. So, yay for getting a replacement but booo for not knowing what was wrong. While I waited for that to come in (they told me 3-5 days but it ended up taking like 3 weeks) I ended up getting the Samsung Galaxy Tab S6 Lite. There are pros and cons to this tablet, imo. But I’m a hardcore Apple fan when it comes to devices and a Windows fan when it comes to computers. The one thing I will say is that the pen for the SGT is a lot lighter than the Apple pen and it kind of throws me off?
I also finally upgraded my iPhone to the iPhone 12, from the iPhone 8. I was super hesitant since the last text message and phone call log from my dad was on my 8. But the dude said I didn’t have to trade in my phone since it was paid off, so whew. I opted OUT of the mini this time for my phone. I didn’t get the one I dub spider eyes, I just got the 12 in the normal size. And the best thing about new iPhones? THAT NEW BATTERY LIFE. So nice. I can actually not keep it on the charger all night! I can play games! I can FaceTime and not deplete my battery! So fun! So amazing! Man I hate this new tech shit.
All the Etsy Disney shops I bought products from for my upcoming trip.
I’ve always wanted indie Disney shirts. I don’t know why, I just love how creative people get with their designs esp the text only ones. I’ve also thought of making my own, but I don’t know where people get theirs printed at. Something I’ll have to look into for sure!
Tunnel of Bones by Victoria Schawb Cassidy Blake #2 Release Date: September 3rd 2019 by Scholastic Genre: Middle Grade > Historical Fiction > Ghosts Source: Scribd Format: Audiobook Summary:
Trouble is haunting Cassidy Blake . . . even more than usual.
She (plus her ghost best friend, Jacob, of course) are in Paris, where Cass’s parents are filming their TV show about the world’s most haunted cities. Sure, it’s fun eating croissants and seeing the Eiffel Tower, but there’s true ghostly danger lurking beneath Paris, in the creepy underground Catacombs.
When Cass accidentally awakens a frighteningly strong spirit, she must rely on her still-growing skills as a ghosthunter — and turn to friends both old and new to help her unravel a mystery. But time is running out, and the spirit is only growing stronger.
And if Cass fails, the force she’s unleashed could haunt the city forever.
If I thought City of Ghosts was amazing, Tunnel of Bones is even more epic. The story behind this one was much more creepy (anything dealing with a kid ghost is always just a little bit more creepy). Tunnel of Bones takes place in Paris and I’m really curious to know if this place is real, but I’m too scared to look it up. The idea of a huge graveyard of bones under a beautiful city is just a mind blowing idea. The stories of the people who were buried and who were lost under there just adds to the curious factor of it all.
Cassidy’s extreme actions to find answers is what I like about her the most; this time it lands her a new friend and an interesting lesson in history. The way Schawb weaves stories of past and present is done so flawlessly. The banter between Jacob and well, anyone, was the best part of this book. Then again it’s the best part of every book in this series.
We do get to know a little more about Jacob in this one; not enough to really have a full story but we get a look into a few things. I think it helped to make his friendship with Cass even stronger. I don’t ship them but I do enjoy their pure friendship!
I’m currently listening to the 3rd book and I’m really hoping this isn’t the end!
I don’t have a quote or any idea what I want to manifest this week. But as I write this, Tums is behind me with her blocks learning how to count on her own. The things this girl does when you just sit and watch her amazes me. She’s so dang smart.
I lied, I just came across this quote in friend Logan’s blog post. Fun fact I started following him on LiveJournal in like 2004? 2005? And I’ve been reading his blog ever since.
This is something I truly believe in; my ex use to be one of those people who felt like because of his upbringing the world owed him something. He spent years angry and waiting for things to fall in his lap. And when I’d suggest doing something about it all he did was point out how hindered he was. But if there’s anything I learned from him it’s that people will go after what they want, period. He always felt like I had a bigger advantage because I had a car. Because I came from money even though I worked just as much if not more than him. I had my own bills to pay. I was THISCLOSE to enlisting into the Army because my mom refused to pay for my college.
My biggest dream was to work at Disney. I held on to this dream for years. I had no idea how or when, I just knew someday I’d get there. And I did. And it wasn’t because I had a car or came from money, none of that played any part in how I got a job at Disney.
I’ve believed in manifestation my whole life — if I just stayed on track. If I just kept working towards whatever goal it was — big or small — I could make it happen.
Working at Disney was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I went in as this shy, insecure, quiet girl who had big dreams but a small voice. I struggled to make female friends in CA because bitches are haters. And I left that job being a girl with big dreams and a big voice. I’m 0% shy. I got comfortable with speaking in front of 80 people every 12 minutes willing an animatronic ant to start a show. I made friends all around the world I still talk to that loved me for who I am, no matter what kind of day I was having.
I lost my bestest friend and my husband in the process, but tbh I feel like the truth of if we belonged together or not was hanging in the balance way before we left for Disney.
People will always be who they are.
It’s up to you to listen and what you’re gonna with that.
The story of how I met Sophie is sort of my favorite one to tell; mostly because I have no idea how or why it happened. I had always heard that pets choose their owners but I never really believed in that until now. I had spent years just browsing the cats for adoption at PetSmart I figured this was any other day like that.
It was a Tampa day when I lived in Florida and one of my main stops was PetSmart since it was right next to Whole Foods. I was talking to my friend Adonis and walked over to the adoption center. I saw Sophie, through the window and immediately felt drawn to her. She wasn’t doing anything special, she was just there. She wasn’t super active and she wasn’t a kitten as her info card said she was 10. But she was tiny. Too small to believe that she was 10. I don’t exactly remember what her info card had said (and I wish I did). I went to find an associate because I wanted to meet Sophie.
She was really skittish. And yes, small. The associate told me that a woman runs the adoption agency they work with and that Sophie was found. She also told me Sophie had been at that PetSmart for 3 years. It was harder to get her adopted since she wasn’t young.
I should probably explain where I was in this point of my life: a year earlier I had a mental breakdown to the point where I almost called 5150 on myself and it triggered hallucinations. It wasn’t anything big or serious at the time — I just kept seeing a cat follow me around my apartment or stare at me. And I didn’t have a cat. I was frequently home alone. Because of the mental breakdown I was also going through a separation/divorce though my ex at the time didn’t want to acknowledge it… or the divorce papers he hid somewhere in his closet. This wasn’t some short marriage either; we had been together since we were 17. He was the bestest friend I had even known and he was literally my partner in crime. Until one day he just wasn’t anymore. Until one day he said my anxiety and OCD make him feel trapped and he turned to other girls to help him feel normal. Our relationship was broken and there wasn’t a way to fix it, we both knew that. We had been together for 12 years and literally grew up together. Learned how to be adults together.
One month after I adopted Sophie, we filed for divorce.
I know there isn’t a Friday Finds post up today and that’s because a lot has been going on all week and I’ve been… in a really angry mood. I could say I’m not sure why but that would be lying and I won’t lie to you or myself. Esp when it comes to my mental health. My therapist started me on a sort of booster anti anxiety med to take along with the Zoloft. It’s like.. it’s suppose to help calm me and help stop the small hallucinations I get. Oh and help me sleep. And it does, but I take it before bed so through the day I’m trying to figure out how to deal with everything.
Makes me miss the days of Xanax.
Tums has been in that stage where she was too much energy and she’s draining me. I know she has BIG emotions for such a little thing and trying to come up with ways to diffuse her melt downs while still trying to keep my shit together? I feel like this is some kind of level up. Is this how my exes feel? JFC. It’s usually easy to manage, it’s just when her dad comes home she starts acting out… and it makes sense why she does.
Gave in and got this for the Switch, I know the new one is coming out soon but I couldn’t remember if I liked Harvest Moon. I haven’t gotten very far just yet but the opening scenes are.. sad. I just needed a new game to farm and craft on. Currently waiting for the Sanrio Amiibo cards for Animal Crossing to come out. I also tore down some of my waterfalls in my entrance way cause I’m gonna make smaller ones. Or more hills. I don’t know. But it wasn’t enough cottagecore vibes for me.
I absolutely love when I find toddler toys for review that Tums actually loves. One I got her in Dec was a truck with shapes your match around it. She likes to build, so she basically just stacked all the blocks but she would spend hours doing this. Another that I just got her about a week ago is this set of 100 blocks (I know, RIP me) that she can build different things with. It’s helped give her something to do in the morning while I make her breakfast and she’s not crying cause I’m “away”. I also got her like a new age Etch a Sketch that’s actually really cool. And she’s been drawing on it. I taught her how to draw hearts. I’m working on butterflies next!
I amazes me how she’s not even 2 and we have our routines. There’s little things she makes sure to do for me, even if I don’t ask. She’ll put the morning juice on the table if I hand it to her. She starts the dish washer after I ask her to shut it. She shuts the laundry room door every single time she see’s it open. She also covers up all the plugs in the office with those plug cover things. I got colorful animals. But she doesn’t put random things in her mouth and she doesn’t play with the actual outlet. She knows it goes there. She also hands me my phone or my Kindle as soon as I get in bed. And she puts her toys away, oh she also picks up after herself! And if she catches me crying she usually punches me in the face. We’re working on that one lmao.
I gave in and upgraded this blog to a business plan; I honestly hate how limited the paid tier is despite how much it costs. And sure, it would be A LOT cheaper if I had just re-created the whole blog on my actual hosting service but I feel like I spent years building THIS blog up and idk, I’m weird about things sometimes. I’m still trying to figure out how set up extra things with the business plans like my usual plug ins and all that other “extra” stuff.
I finally got my iPad back yesterday, it had stopped completely charging a month ago and after a week of no results I decided to bring it to Geek Squad to repair while it was still covered. They said it would take 3-5 business days but it took about 2 weeks before I heard anything back. But she’s home now and she’s set up. Kinda. I just gotta organize everything all over again.
I also caved and upgraded my iPhone8 to the iPhone12 (and not the mini for once). I was super against the idea of it because my dad’s last text message to me is on my 8. Thankfully since the phone is paid for I didn’t have to trade it in, so I still have it. But I got the iPhone12 in blue. I hated all the other color options. And I don’t believe in phone cases, and no I never drop/break my iPhone either. OCD is good for something sometimes. I’m in love with it so far! The camera is SO much more than my 8 was! And I actually like the bigger screen. The only downside for me is that it uses the USB-C cable and well, everything I have is the lightning cable.
Tomorrow I start on organizing the closet and the office. Oh and also attempting to make wax melts! I’m pretty excited about that! And Sunday I’ll be sharing a ton of small businesses I bought Disney shifts from for our upcoming trip!
I know word vomit posts aren’t suppose to have pictures but eh, whatever.
I hope you all are having a great Friday and have a fun weekend planned!
It’s that time of the year again when I do Middle Grade March.
I thought I got that idea from an Owlcrate thing they did a few years ago but I could be wrong? I just searched there videos and I didn’t find anything for it this year. But this is a month I gather up all most of the middle grade books I didn’t get into last year… or DNF’d like 4 years ago. You know what, there are no rules to this, ok? lol a few are from my Owlcrate JR boxes and a few are books I’ve had sitting on my Kindle TBR and one series I fell in love with this year. So, I’m pretty excited.
My anxiety has been unreal the last few days and it’s not only draining but it’s also making me angry, which hasn’t happened in a long long while. I mean I’m more likely to speak my mind, if that’s the case but also, anger drains me. So I’m looking forward to picking up a few of these that are whimsical and full of adventure and fantasy.
Physical Books TBR;
All but one title is from Owlcrate Jr. And most have paranormal or fantasy themes to them. I love middle grade titles, I wish young adult could have an entire series with absolutely no love interest!
I’m super excited to get into The Midnight Hour as well as Cinders & Sparrows the most!